BABY PAIGE

A Giveaway!

2011-11-26T06:49:00.000-08:00

Hey all! Thought I'd share about a great giveaway they are having over at Generation Cedar. First, Generation Cedar is one of my favorite sites - amazing insight and resources for homeschooling, Christian living and the family. Love love love that site! Now, onto the giveaway. They are giving away gift cards to Vision Forum at visionforum.com. This site is equally amazing - amazing resources for homeschooling and the family. Books, dvds and great information. Keeping my fingers crossed that I win, because this would be a hugely helpful resource for the kids and our future of learning. Check them out, and maybe one of us will walk away a winner :)

More pictures of our new little guy :)

2011-08-23T11:26:00.000-07:00

Asher James Murphy

2011-08-23T11:08:00.000-07:00

born Tuesday, August 16th, 2011

8lb. 1.6oz. and 20 inches long

He's finally here!!! Welcome to the world our newest little blessing - Asher James Murphy.

On Monday Gina went to her 39 week appointment. Her midwife, Aliza, told her that she was dilated to 4 and would probably have her water break sometime that night. If not, we could come in and have her break Gina's water to get things going. The next day, we went into the hospital at noon. Aliza broke Gina's water around 1pm. Then things really picked up. Gina labored for a few hours, then began pushing a little after 3. Asher kept getting stuck behind her pelvic bone, so she was having a hard time pushing him out. But, at 3:55pm, Asher James entered the world. He was born just the way we had hoped - without any drugs or interventions, and perfectly healthy. The birth went great, and Gina is doing very well (though still recovering). We are so thankful for a healthy baby boy who is so loved already. We definitely picked the perfect name for him - Asher means "happy" and he is the most content little man. We are grateful that it all went so well, and so fast, and for great people like Aliza and our nurses who made it all go so well. We are basking in God's goodness and the beauty of this precious little boy.

Our Big Girl!

2011-08-23T10:59:00.000-07:00

On August 6th, we celebrated Paige's 3rd birthday a few weeks early, as we were anticipating that Asher may arrive on or around her real birthday (and we were right ;). We had a very small party of just family, and we all ate brunch and celebrated our lovely Paige. It's hard to believe that she is already 3! Then again, she speaks and acts as if she were already a teenager. On her actual birthday we took her to get her ears pierced (per her request), got a milkshake and rode the carousel at the mall. She had a blast! It was just what she wanted. Paige is the most amazing little girl. She's kind, loving, vibrant, joyful, beautiful and smart. We love everything about her, and We are amazed that we get to be a part of this great adventure with her. We love you Paige Anna!!

Awaiting Asher

2011-08-02T12:06:00.000-07:00

I am now 37 weeks pregnant, which means that we are officially full-term - Asher could come at anytime. While I am hopeful that he will arrive early, I know that he could definitely come late. I was hopeful that Paige would come early, but she arrived 10 days past her due date. Eli on the other hand arrived 5 days early. There is no way to know, but I'm hopeful :) Today I saw my midwife and I am 2+ centimeters dilated, 55% effaced and Asher is at -2 station. I am having lots of contractions and he is definitely in position. So I am going to do all I can to kickstart this labor, and hope that Asher wants to come out as badly as I want to hold him. Please pray for a fast and easy delivery, and for it to come soon. The past 34+ days straight have been over 100 degrees, and I am very ready to meet this baby boy. Hopefully we'll be updating you with a picture of new, sweet baby soon :)

1 Year

2011-07-17T18:44:00.000-07:00

1 Year ago today our precious Sprout went to be with the Lord at 8 weeks gestation. We feel privileged to have been the parents of this little blessing, if only for a short time. We anxiously await the day we can hold our baby in our arms, and rejoice that our baby is praising Jesus in Heaven each and every day. We love you Sprout! And, the Lord willing, we will welcome our 4th baby, Asher, in the next month. We are so excited to meet him. God has truly blessed us with a beautiful family, and we are grateful for each day with them regardless of whether we get to hold them this side of heaven or not.

Buried Alive

2011-06-30T07:13:00.000-07:00

I apologize for the serious tone to my recent posts. I do not intend to be a Debbie Downer, but lately I have been weighed down by worry. It feels like being buried alive - the feeling that everything is on top of you, you are gasping for breath, and the more that you try to claw and climb your way out the more dirt falls on your face and the farther down you slide. How do you get out of this cycle? How do you finally get your head above ground? This has been a struggle for probably the last year, but especially the last 4 months. Health stuff, family stuff, financial issues, personal and spiritual problems have all come to a head at once, and seem only to get worse with each passing day. It feels like there is no relief. We feel out of control, totally helpless in all of it. And I think that is precisely where God wants us. He wants us to realize that EVERYTHING comes from Him, and that we are capable of nothing apart from Him. We can work our fingers to the bone, but we cannot make the paycheck come. We can do our best to be healthy and proactive, but we cannot sustain life. We can give but we cannot determine the return. I think He wanted us to realize how incredibly powerless we are, and how much we have relied on ourselves, our talents, money and people when He is the only true source. I think He has been trying to strip us bare of all of our stuff - including our security, priorities and plans - to reveal to us our basic need of Him and Him alone. Just this past week I realized that I had been holding onto our home - feeling like there was no way God would ask us to give this to Him, or not have a home. Then, I remembered when Patrick and I bought this home. We were so excited. We felt so blessed and we dedicated our home to the Lord. We believed that He had given us this home and wanted to use it as a ministry to others in hospitality. We told God to do whatever He wanted in our home. Now, a few years later, I was telling God that He could not have the home I had already given Him. Wow! Talk about conviction! Suddenly I saw my home differently - not as my entitlement, or a requirement for my family to survive and thrive, but as a blessing that God had given us at His discretion. As my loving Father, He has the right to take it away at anytime if He feels so inclined. And while this may sound scary - God possibly taking away your home at anytime - it is actually true freedom. Letting go of that pressure and grabbing onto the promise that God has me in His hand is real freedom. Now I am not owned by my home, or the mortgage, or debt, or anything else that tries to grab at me. He has me and He will provide. This does not mean that I do not have a role to play - no! Just the opposite. I have a huge role to play - obedience and submission. I have to do what He has called me to do, go where He has called me to go, and give the outcome to Him. I have to trust that He is good, that He loves me and that He is in control. This is no easy feat. It requires faith, which requires hoping in things you cannot see and often lots and lots of waiting. We feel like we have been waiting far too long for an answer, but the truth is that God is never late. He knows exactly what He is doing. So, as we feel paralyzed by our circumstances and at a loss for what to do next, we wait on the Lord and trust that His ways are higher than our ways, that He is invading every aspect of our lives with His love, and that He will bring the relief at just the right time. We are now seeing that we are being buried in His grace and mercy, and that relief comes in the surrender.

When the World Caves in

2011-05-11T11:08:00.001-07:00

Do you ever fee like the world is caving in on you? Do you ever feel like you are completely undone? That your insides have been ripped out and you are agonizingly floundering on the floor? I have come to know that feeling pretty well. I sit here, completely undone before the Lord. I feel like Job, sitting on my heap of ashes, dressed in sackcloth, scraping my boils with broken pottery as people tell me to just curse God and die. That's really tempting. I mean, how can a loving and just God sit around and do nothing as I sit and suffer? How can He sit back on His big comfortable throne and watch as people who love and follow Him are in agony? He must be pretty despicable to be able to do that, especially to people He supposedly loves. But, much like Job, I cannot and will not curse God and die. I can only say that I know that my Redeemer lives. Can I expect only blessings from God and not curses? Even if He were that awful tyrant, He would still deserve my praise. If He made everything and was all powerful and did not love me at all, He would deserve praise because of Who He is. Yet, that is not true. He is all powerful, and all knowing; the beginning and the end; the author and finisher of my faith; the very definition and origin of love; the only One who knows the entire story. He has me in His hand, even if all of the circumstance have stopped from seeing that that is exactly where I am. He is not far, but inside, outside, above, below, encircling every part. I just see the temporal, while He sees the finite and infinite. He wrote the story, and I am only playing a part. When He answers Job, He does so with a series of questions - where were you when I put the stars in their place? Told the oceans to come only so far? Hung the heavens, and created the earth? Where were you? How did I do it? You think the One who causes seasons and has a purpose for every plant, leaf, insect and animal is unaware of what's going on with His own children? Of course I am paraphrasing, but if you have never read that interaction - you should. We forget when we are battling the big scary monsters of this big scary world how very small all of it is in comparison to Him. We forget about His glory when we're met with struggles and confusion. We forget about His love, faithfulness and goodness when we're staring death and mourning in the face. But they are still there. Our circumstances don't change Him. Let me say that again (because I need to hear it) - our circumstances don't change Him. He is not scared by the threat of war. He is not worried over unemployment, the crashing dollar or the impending financial collapse. He is not intimidated by dictators or tyrants. He does not flinch at death. Nothing is a surprise to Him, and nothing is beyond His power or control. Why does He allow this suffering? - Because He is good. That doesn't make sense! How can suffering come from good? Because He sees what we don't. He knows what we could never fathom. I have often said that God sees everything at once from every perspective, while we can only see from our 2 small eyes and biased perception. He has a plan, and we are part of it. I am grasping for the Lord right now as my family faces yet another gut wrenching, horribly painful, and seemingly unfair trial. We are faced once again, in less than a year, with death and pain and heartbreak. We pray and believe for miracles, yet God seems to be silent. This is not true. God is not silent. He is lovingly rocking us in His arms as He strokes our hair and asks us to trust Him yet again. It's a struggle to trust Him, even when we know all of this about Him. It's a struggle to see through the pain and tears to His love and goodness. But that is faith, right? - Being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see (Heb. 11:1). So, I am sure that God is there, and certain that He is loving us and caring for us. I am hoping for a miracle and clinging to His truth. No matter the outcome of this trial - life or death, rejoicing or mourning - I will praise Him, because He is worthy of my praise. I will trust Him, because He is the only One I can run to. I will follow Him, because He is the only truth.

Wandering in the Wilderness

2011-04-18T12:50:00.000-07:00

I have been living in Texas now for 4 years. 4 years! That is crazy to me. It feels like yesterday that Patrick and I left behind our little Yorba Linda townhouse and trekked through the desert to our new home. Yet, the 4 years here has been so full of stuff that it seems like decades that we have been here. Strange how that happens. Much like my dad's death feels like a hundred years ago, but at the same time it feels like I just spoke to him yesterday. These 4 years in some ways have been excruciatingly long. The number 1 place I have felt the drain of time has been in my walk with Christ. Moving here was definitely something that God had planned for us. Neither Patrick nor I have doubted for 1 second that God called us here. The month before we left Patrick was offered the position he had dreamed about. He was offered to work with and under the man he admired more than any other person in the world, for a place that felt like home, and with people that he considered family. He was offered the position that he had left Colorado in the hopes of one day achieving. At the same time, he was offered a position at a company that had treated him unfairly, with people he did not know, in an area that was one of the worst in the country for his department. We prayed and prayed and prayed some more. But it was clear - we were being called to Texas. We were being called out of and away from the people we loved in California, and the ministry we both felt called to. We were nervous and sad as we left behind our biggest hopes for the future, but so excited to see what God was calling us to in Texas. I mean, we had given up our hearts desire, so God must be replacing that with something completely amazing, right? Well... it didn't appear so. After 4 years in Texas we are still wondering why we are here. After 4 years at the same church, we still don't feel like we belong. After 4 years of putting ourselves out there we have no real friends. I have no one I know in Texas that I have ever called to have a conversation with. No one. Now I don't want to sound ungrateful or not take time to show all the good things that have come here - my entire family now lives here (which is the biggest blessing on earth), we bought a house, had 4 babies (2 here, 1 in heaven, and 1 still cooking), and have met some incredible people that we dearly love and admire. But it still feels in many ways like we're just passing through. Perhaps the absolute worst part of all of it is that in the entire time I have lived here I have felt very distant from God. I have prayed, fasted, read my Bible daily, gone to Bible study - done all of the stuff. Yet He seems silent. I feel like I am the only one talking, and He has grown weary of listening. In my head, I know this is totally untrue. I know that He cares for me, and loves me and listens to me, and is for me not against me. I see the ways He has provided for me, even in miraculous ways. I know all of this... in my head. But my heart, well my heart feels abandoned. My heart feels like God lead me out here and left me to fend for myself. I feel lost. I work everyday to try to do the things I feel He has laid on my heart, but I feel like I hit walls at every turn. I know that we have an enemy and that he is real and working to ruin and thwart every thing God is doing in our lives. I know that the world is not my true home and that things here are going to be bad and unfair at times. I know all of that... in my head. Yet my heart looks at my time here and recalls over 6 months of depression that I endured without a single person noticing I was struggling. My heart recalls losing my dad and watching my mom continue to mourn and struggle. My heart recalls laying on a hospital bed crying uncontrollably after losing my child. My heart recalls praying for Isaac to be born alive and then holding his beautiful lifeless body, and watching my sister have her heart torn out as she grieved her child. My heart recalls Patrick losing the job he had due to people lying and cheating, and causing us financial hardship. My heart sees all of the struggle we have every single day with finances, no matter how much we tithe, how many hours Patrick works, or how much I cut back and take on to save money. My heart sees us striving to be obedient and diligent and grateful, yet still not feeling God anywhere in the room. I know that God is real. I know that God is with me. I have met Him face to face. I have felt His hand on my shoulder as I cried, and I have no doubt that He is sovereign and I will continue to praise Him and follow Him even if I never feel Him again. I have never been angry with Him over losing my dad or Sprout or Isaac. I have trusted Him with all of that, and I know that they are in His hands. I don't want to sound like I'm doubting Him or walking away. That is the farthest thing from what I am doing. I am simply trying to convey with words the way my heart feels. I am trying to press in and grow closer to Him, and feel His presence in the midst of the storm. Yet I feel like a person in a dark room, with my hands stretched out trying to grasp for anything and finding nothing. I know He's there. I can hear Him breathing. But right now, I can't find Him. And I know that He has allowed this for a purpose, a good purpose. I know that He is using this time in my own desert to teach me to be patient, and trust Him, and follow Him unconditionally. I know that... in my head. But my heart yearns to feel my daddy turn and hold me tight and stroke my hair and tell me that He is here to chase away the monsters, and that has it all under control.

The BEST News!!

2011-04-12T06:18:00.000-07:00

So what is better than expecting another baby? Sharing that experience with people that you love. When I posted that we were expecting our 3rd child, and 2nd son, I mentioned that I would be sharing even more exciting news in the future. Now I am FINALLY able to share the incredible news. Both of my sisters are pregnant! Annette and Alyssa are both now entering their 2nd trimester! YAY!!! All 3 of us are pregnant together! Does it get any better? This fall there will 3 new little babies all born within about a month and a half of each other. What a blessing. So if you think of it, please pray for our very blessed, and fertile, family :)

It's a Boy!

2011-04-07T13:37:00.001-07:00

On Tuesday morning we had the first, and possibly last sonogram of our little Tater Tot. He is healthy and active and, well, a HE! Our precious little one is most definitely a boy, and we have the pictures to prove it. He jumped all over the place, trying to hide from the camera. He covered his face with his hands acting shy and even turned and looked directly at the camera and opened his mouth. He was very annoyed at all of the attention. It was such a sweet time for Patrick and I. Is there anything better than witnessing the miracle of life? Here is a tiny precious person jumping around inside of my belly, with a personality and fingers and toes and eyelashes. It's crazy! We saw his brain and his kidneys and his spine and his sweet face. Every part of him is perfect. How can God weave together something so perfect in such a small space? It truly is miraculous, and brings tears to my eyes as I think about it. This wonderful boy is the very creation of God, being knit together as we speak inside of me by the God of the universe. I am so excited to hold him and kiss him and love on him. I can hardly wait to see his precious face. I feel very privileged to be housing this gift, for as long as God allows me.

And in the midst of all the joy, today I was overcome with a longing for my precious Sprout. I believe he was a boy, although it was too soon to tell. I know that he is running and jumping in heaven. And I often envision him sitting on my dad's shoulders, holding hands with my nephew Isaac as they joyfully sing praises to the Lord. I can almost see him in my mind, but not quite. One day I will see him and hold him and smother him with kisses. But today I just miss him and feel the empty place at the table that will never be filled. I am overjoyed at the thought of my little man inside me, and even more excited for the day my entire family can be together praising our Lord.

No Greater Work on Earth

2011-04-02T16:03:00.000-07:00

Are you where you'd thought you'd be 5 years ago? 5 years ago I was a newly engaged young kindergarten teacher who couldn't wait for my life to start. I was in the midst of planning the wedding of my dreams, working hard and trying to figure out what it meant to be a wife. Now, 5 years later, many things have changed. In many ways I am right where I'd thought I'd be - married to my love and staying home with my babies. In other ways I am very surprised that this is where I am. I never thought that I would be living in Texas, or that I'd be living without my dad already, that I would have lost a baby or buried a nephew. I never thought I would struggle with anger or worry this much about money. I never thought that marriage would be such a rollercoaster of emotions, or that babies would be this much work. The world paints a picture through movies, magazines and books that when you find "the right one" everything becomes sunshine and lollipops. The perfect mate would never make me cry, understand all of my needs without being told, and our perfect children would be sweet, loving and disciplined. But I was looking through the lens of someone who knew nothing of life. I had never really had to care for myself before, and definitely never had the entire well-being and training of someone else to consider. My life was my own, and in my selfish worldview everyone was here for my enjoyment, pleasure and benefit. Then I got married. And had kids. Suddenly what I wanted wasn't the most important thing. I was forced to consider others above myself. And you know what? It was hard. And it was wonderful. This life of service to my family has become my ministry. I have learned so much more about myself in this process than any other thing I have done. I have learned of my very sinful nature and great need for grace. I have learned how very weak I am and how very strong my God is. I have learned that the moments when I put the Lord first and foremost, and serve others are the moments I am truly happy. And I have learned that the moments that I think of myself, worry about my comfort and consider myself first that I am miserable. So opposite of what the world preaches, huh? We are told to take time for ourselves, love ourselves, and make sure that we're happy. While those suggestions sound nice, they really point us to a selfish life. We are to make ourselves happy first and then serve others? Where exactly in the Bible is that? Where do you see Jesus telling someone that He'd love to heal them, but He's on His way for some quiet time and He'll catch them later? You don't. Because the life that Jesus modeled for us, and the life that He calls us to is one of service. It is a life in which we are to lay down our lives for our brothers, consider others better than ourselves and follow the Lord regardless of the threat to ourselves. What I see today with so many families is an unwillingness to put someone else first. It seems most people have gotten their marriage counsel from Cosmo rather than the Bible. People expect to "have it all" and all right now. It seems that no one is willing to do the hard work required. People want good children, but don't want to discipline. People want a close family while handing their kids off to daycare providers 12 hours a day, sports practice, and then in front of the TV without really having a conversation with them. Why are we surprised that families are falling apart when no one is willing to make hard choices or make their families a priority? How can a marriage survive when both the husband and the wife are never home, or spend any time together? How can a child feel loved and wanted when shipped off each day to strangers while mom and dad do "more important work?" While I understand that there are times when people have no choice, the overwhelming majority of people who work insane hours and send their kids off to others are simply looking for more money, a nicer car, a bigger house or more toys. This probably sounds like very harsh judgment, but really I am coming from a place of true heartbreak. I watch as people I love make choices based on their emotions and desire to feel "happy" or have a "better life" while tearing apart their families and their lives. I watch as more and more people buy into the lie that what you do for a living is more important than who you love. I watch as dads pass on their responsibility and subsequent joy to others, and while mothers act as though their precious children are nothing more than a giant nuisance. This breaks my heart. I ache for these people who are making choices based on fear of missing something or the lies that a better life lies outside their own 4 walls. I want them to have all the joy and peace that comes from a heart submitted to the Lord and serving others. I want them to reap the benefits of the hard work of living for your family. I'm sorry for the rant, but all too often I have been hearing of people wondering what happened to their families when they walked away from them years before. 5 years ago I was believing the lie that the family that I hoped for and dreamed of would just happen in the right circumstances. Now, by the grace of God, I have learned that I have a big role to play, and a lot of work to do. These relationships won't just happen - they require tender care, the counsel of the Lord, dying to myself and my sinful desire and service. But there is no greater work on earth!

And then there were 3...

2011-03-02T11:58:00.000-08:00

So... it's been a VERY long time since I updated this blog. Wow! A very long time. Sorry about that. It's been a crazy 6 months - full of extreme heart break, great blessings and a lot of learning through the struggles. I'm not going to try to fill in these lost 6 months for those of you who do not know me or my family - it would just be far too much stuff, and a lot of painful things that are not truly mine to share. So, instead, I have decided to pick up from right at this moment. And right at this moment I am sitting as Paige and Elijah are taking a nice nap. Paige is now 2 1/2 years old. She is so full of life, energy and love. I just love listening to her talk, which she does constantly. She only stops when she's sleeping and eating (most of the time ;). Elijah is now 16 months old. He is running all over, climbing and being such a little boy. Everything he does is so boy, and I love to watch him explore and learn and have such joy over all the things he discovers. Patrick is doing great, working hard and looking good, as always. And me, well... I am 15 weeks pregnant. That's right, we're pregnant!!! YAY!!! This may sound crazy to some of you who know that this will be my 4th pregnancy in 3 years, but we are thrilled. In fact, I did the math and realized that out of the past 39 months I have been pregnant a total of 26 months. Wow! This sweet precious baby is due in late August, right around Paige's birthday. So, we will have a newly turned 3 year old, 22 month old and a newborn at the end of the summer, Lord willing. It will be a lot of work, and a lot of fun. I am so excited for this baby. I have already started getting excited as I envision being in the hospital holding this precious gift. I think I am even more excited after losing Sprout and the events of the past 6 months. I realize what a gift this baby is and how preciously fragile life truly is. I am so thankful to thus far have had a healthy pregnancy and healthy baby, and the kids are so excited. They ask about the baby every day and rub my tummy to say hi to him/her. I even felt the baby move (you know, those butterfly feelings) for the first time last week. God is truly good, and we are trusting Him with this baby and with all of the provision we will need to get through this season. So, that's our update. In the coming weeks/ months I will be sharing a lot more exciting news, but for now we are rejoicing in the gift of our little Tater Tot Murphy. Praise God!!

The Worst (Best) Summer of My Life

2010-09-14T12:18:00.000-07:00

"I think we have lost the old knowledge that happiness is overrated - that, in a way, life is overrated. We have lost, somehow a sense of mystery - about us, our purpose, our meaning, our role. Our ancestors believed in 2 worlds, and understood this to be the solitary, poor, nasty, brutish and short one. We are the first generations of man that actually expected to find happiness here on earth, and our search for it caused such - unhappiness. The reason: if you don't believe in another, higher world, if you believe only in the flat material world around you, if you believe that this is your only chance at happiness - if that is what you believe, then you are not disappointed when the world does not give you a good measure of its riches - you are despairing." - Peggy Noonan

This has been the worst summer of my life. That is quite a statement for me to make, I mean I really hate throwing around words like best and worst. I know that it could always be worse than it is and that so many more people have things much harder than I to deal with. But for me, this statement is true. I don't know that it will be the worst summer of my life in 30 years, but up 'til now it reigns supreme. Losing the baby was awful. It was so much harder than I imagined it could be in so many different ways, and yet it was not nearly as hard as I had imagined in other ways. Ya know? I am still going to the doctor every week, or every other week to have my HCG levels checked because I am not yet back to zero. I have to pay for every single test, every single week. I also am not exactly healthy yet since the miscarriage. Beyond losing my baby, there have been a myriad of other nice little problems that have reared their ugly head. The bills from the hospital that keep coming in (who knew seeing a PA for not quite 30 minutes could cost so much money?), the kids testing boundaries and deciding that screaming is the best form of communication and attacks on my marriage the likes of which I never thought possible. Wow! If this world was supposed to be the place I found my happiness I would sure be despairing right about now. But I am so thankful that it is not. I am so thankful that I know I don't belong here. How did C.S. Lewis put it- we're living in "enemy-occupied territory"? And it feels like that enemy has built his base on my front lawn! But in the midst of the darkness, the pain and the grief I have - joy. What? Joy? Does that even make sense? No, it doesn't. Though it may not always show, and though I am hurting and grieving and struggling with all of the pain from all of the blows the enemy is throwing at me and my family, underneath it all I have peace and joy. I know that I know that I know that God loves me. I know that He has a plan for me. And I know that He has called me His own, His child, His heir, His beloved. And because He has called me He will work all of this together for my good. We often think that belonging to Him is some sort of security policy - I'll follow God and be a good person and nothing bad will ever happen to me; He'll look out for me and protect me because I am such an asset to Him; He doesn't let bad things happen to good people. I guess we've never really read and understood the Bible then, or we've believed others words over the Lord's because the Bible says the exact opposite of that. Ever heard of Job? He was faithful to God, a good man - so much so that God was bragging about him. He endured so much pain and all just to test his loyalty. What about David, the man after God's own heart? - He hid in caves avoiding death for years, lost his wife and his best friend before he was able to take hold of his God-given throne. Paul - stoned, beaten, ship-wrecked, starved - all after he chose to follow Christ. The list goes on and on, topped with Jesus, God's own son. Jesus told us that in this world we will have trouble, not might but will. But to take heart, for He has overcome the world. But our hope is not in this world. Our lives don't end when we stop breathing, in fact, they are truly just beginning. So as I take stock of my worst summer I am grateful. I am grateful that God gave me the ability to get pregnant and the knowledge that He has my baby in Heaven. So many women lose a child or abort their baby thinking that it is the end, and there is nothing to look forward to. How hard to have to say a permanent goodbye with no hope. I am grateful that my children are healthy and strong-willed. Even though it is hard to train and teach them, it is how God made them and part of what makes them special, and part of what they will need to accomplish the plans and purposes He has called them to. Although the bills are high, they could be much higher. I could have had to stay in the hospital for weeks, and Patrick could be unemployed so we would have no way of paying for them. Although it is hard to go back each week, each time I am greeted by a wonderful staff whom I trust and the news is better each time. And though my marriage has been hit hard by the enemy, we are growing closer because of it. We are turning toward each other and toward God as a couple in a way that we never have before. I believe with all of my heart that this awful summer is going to be one of the biggest blessings we have ever received. God allows us to go through these things and we can respond one of 2 ways - turn to Him, or away from Him. He will be glorified with or without us. The men of faith I mentioned earlier all chose to follow God in the hard times, and all of them received a far greater reward for their faithfulness than the pain that they endured. We can choose to praise Him though we don't understand, or we can go our own way and look for answers in other places. But let me save you some searching - He is the only way to peace. He is the only freedom. Every other way offers you some joy or peace or escape, but it really just ensnares you with a taste of those things, followed by a lifetime of bondage. We all have our struggles, and maybe you read my problems and laugh because they are nothing compared to yours. But God is big enough for the biggest problems and small enough to care about the littlest annoyances. He wants them all. He wants all of me. He wants all of you. So as I look back on this summer and see the hand of God in it all, I may have to change my opening statement - this may just be the best summer of my life.

Horribly Beautiful

2010-07-24T13:11:00.000-07:00

I am emerging from some of the worst weeks of my life. On Saturday, July 17th, we lost our 3rd child. I was 8 1/2 weeks pregnant, and we were waiting a few more weeks to share the news with everyone. This pregnancy was unexpected, but so exciting. In fact we called the baby our little miracle because we had taken every precaution not to get pregnant and still found ourselves expecting this precious baby. We were thrilled to have a new little baby on the way, due in February and making us the parents of 3 babies under 3. But on Wednesday, July 14th, I started having issues. I tried not to worry, as this can be very normal. But it wasn't normal for me. The issues continued on and off until Saturday, when it got much worse. Patrick and I hurried to the ER, where it was confirmed that I had been having a miscarriage for the past few days. It was awful, horrible, scary and heart-breaking. The worst thing I have ever gone through. We spent 6 hours at the hospital mourning the loss of our little child, scared and hurting. We came home and tried to mourn and comfort one another. Patrick was amazing, my hero in all of this. I was so proud of his strength and his compassion. I love him so much more after all of this. But the nightmare didn't stop there. After enduring what felt like my heart being ripped out we were met with ridiculous bills, more doctor appointments, and the following Thursday a scary prognosis. I got a call saying that the lab tech had found that my pregnancy was a molar pregnancy. This means that some sort of mass overtook my baby and was growing inside my uterus. It happens in 1/1000 pregnancies, always results in miscarriage, and requires a year of no pregnancy and monthly doctor visits to ensure that the mole does not return. Then the lady said something about precancerous cells. What?! Talk about scary. I went from one day excitedly expecting my third child to losing a baby and possibly a condition? No! As soon as the spotting started I felt very strongly that it was an attack from the enemy. Now I know that it was. He is trying to scare me and my family, and I say no. After 4 days of no answers and lots of prayer and worry, I met with my doctors who told me that my placenta overtook my baby, that it was all completely gone, no worry of cancer and that as soon as my HCG levels (pregnancy hormones in the blood) go back to normal pre-pregnancy levels I am fine to try again whenever I like. As of today my levels are almost to 0. Thank you Jesus! This whole ordeal has been horribly beautiful. It may seem strange for me to say that, but in the really awful times we can see God so clearly. The distractions have faded away and it is just Him and I. He provided for me and cared for me so gently and so lovingly in this that I feel so blessed to have endured it. Mind you, I would much rather be 11 weeks pregnant with my sweet baby, but I know that my little miracle is in the arms of Jesus awaiting my arrival. And throughout every moment of the miscarriage, the diagnosis, the scary waiting, worries, stressing over money and the awful things said by some hospital staff, God was there and loving me. He held my hand and gently guided my every step. The day that I lost the baby, I asked God what He had to say about my situation - would I lose the baby or not? I opened my Bible and it fell to Isaiah 51 and on the side was written the hymn Be Still My Soul. It spoke of the Lord being on my side and with me through suffering and loss. It was 5 minutes later that my miscarriage began. He allowed me to feel absolutely no pain throughout all of it, not at the hospital, not before or after. He gave me strength in the days of not knowing if I might have precancerous cells and require surgery to remove them by bringing loving family to pray over me continually and sweet notes from the few friends that Patrick had shared our heartbreak with. He allowed Patrick and I to become so much closer in all of this and taught us to treasure every second with our babies, because we are not promised one moment together or that we will always be healthy. He caused the hospital to negotiate bills with us and gave us unexpected money to pay for it. He made me grateful for my ability to bear children and hopeful about the many more we hope to have. He gave me compassion for the lost and misguided nurse who tried to console me by calling my precious child a mere piece of tissue that was not a living being. He showed me how carefully he knits each one of us together so perfectly and intricately and lovingly. He took care of little details like allowing it to all happen on a Saturday when Patrick was home, for us to leave while the kids were napping so they didn't have to see me crying, and at a time when my mom was able to watch them for the 6 hours we were at the hospital. He took care of everything. And though my heart is so broken and I miss this little baby that I have yet to truly meet, I feel like my broken heart is in the arms of the Father who is piecing it back together with so much care and love, and that He has enlarged it for me. I worried about sharing all of this in such a public way. But our little baby Sprout counted. That baby had a four chambered heart that was beating and little fingers and toes that were just forming. My baby was alive, no matter for one day in my womb or 30 years, no matter what nurse Donna says. On a side note, I feel a huge burden for Donna. She has been so lied to and I think I will forever be praying for her. I wanted to share the story of our Sprout because I didn't want to act as if this person, this tiny little miracle didn't exist. My baby has been in the arms of the Savior for his/her entire life. And though I will not hold my baby this side of Heaven, this sweet baby has fulfilled his/her God-given purpose. This little one brought our family closer to each other and to our Lord. And I am convinced that more will come from the short but wonderful life of this baby in the years to come. I think about my Sprout everyday, and I am excited for the day we will finally meet. Heaven just got that much sweeter.

Another Great Giveaway!

2010-07-09T11:44:00.001-07:00

Please excuse this interruption of the Completing Him Challenge posts for a very fun post! There is a giveaway over at www.passionatehomemaking.com, and I am so excited. They are giving away an Excalibur Food Dehydrator worth $150. Wow! This would be an amazing thing to win, and I'm praying that maybe I might just be the one to win it. If not, maybe it could be you. Run on over to www.passionatehomemaking.com and enter the giveaway. If you're not interested in the giveaway go on over there anyway. I LOVE this website! It is chock full of great recipes, advice and information on eating healthy, living better and pursuing a godly home. Love, love, love this site. Thanks! I'll let you know if I win. Cross your finger for me :)

Admiration

2010-07-07T05:04:00.000-07:00

This week's assignment in the Completing Him Challenge is to list things you admire about your husband. Patrick is such an amazing man that this is not hard at all :).

1. Patrick is one of the hardest working men I know. I can count on 1 hand the number of times he's called in sick, and they are always because I make him. He is so devoted that he has actually thrown up at work numerous times and not come home. He never leaves the job undone, shorthanded, or without giving it 100% all of the time.

2. Patrick is loyal to a fault. Patrick will stand up for you, protect you and stand by your side no matter what once you have entered his circle of friends. He never loses contact with people no matter how far away or how long it's been since they've seen each other. He is even loyal to jobs and bosses. When he was being mistreated at his former job, he stayed loyal to the company and his boss. He gave his very best up until his last second there.

3. He is teachable. I am a stubborn and often very proud woman. I take criticism, even constructive criticism, hard and shut off when offended. Patrick listens to those he respects when they criticize, point out something or call him out. He does not get angry or bitter, but instead seeks help to remedy the situation. When he was struggling for a good, godly male role model he sought them out and went to them for advice, and then really applied it. If Patrick respects you, he listens and he truly learns in a way I have never seen before.

4. He loves the unlovable. I would be a prime example of this on many a day. He often comes home to an exhausted and annoyed wife, but he still looks forward to seeing me. He also seeks out the kids that most people have written off. When he worked in the youth group he was in charge of the kids that no one else wanted. He was able to speak into their lives and see real change that no one else thought was possible. They respected him and loved him because they knew that he saw them for who they really were and not their list of failures.

5. Patrick is so smart. He does math in his head so fast, remembers everything and can figure things out with little help. He is always correcting my poor memory. He is very logical and see things in black and white so much better than I can.

6. He is generous. Patrick loves to have people in our home - to feed them, keep them here and give them the very best of our time, love and stuff. He is the first one to contribute to people asking for money for missions or other ministries. But, he is not foolish and does not squander money on things he does not believe in.

7. He is unashamedly himself. He does not apologize for who he is. He does not let others determine what he likes or does. He often has liked things that others find obscure, but rather than hiding it or losing interest at the mocking of others, he merely proudly displays his preference. In the end, the people that tease him are often swayed to his side.

8. He is a wonderful father. He loves our babies with all he has and is excited to see them every day. Every night before they go to bed he makes sure to tell each of them how much he loves them, how proud he is of them, how talented they are, and all of things he admires in each of them. It is such a gift to watch him love on them, play with them and be the amazing father I knew he would be.

9. He is a fantastic husband. Patrick has done the most thoughtful things for me, takes care of me so well and is always striving to love me more. He will never give up on us or quit on me. He works so hard to provide for us and never complains about the long hours, the lack of respect, all the pressure or the little pay. He gives it his all every single day. He always wants to spoil me and the kids, and truly we are spoiled with all that he does for us and the way that he loves us. He allowed me to stay home without any complaints when we had no children, when we had little to no income and when everyone else told him he was nuts to have a wife not working. Though he had never seen a woman stay home successfully, he trusted me to do it. He trusts me with the money, our kids, our home and his heart every day and never makes demands. I could go on and on, but he is simply the best husband around.

10. He is a godly man. Patrick is so willing to go anywhere and do anything for Jesus. He is sold out, and follows even when he doesn't understand. I am so proud of his heart and the way that he seeks to always be pointing people to Jesus.

This is just a small list of the wonderful qualities that Patrick possesses. If you don't know him, I suggest you get to know him for your own benefit. He is truly wonderful. I love you honey!

To Have and to Hold

2010-06-28T05:21:00.000-07:00

Sorry, this post is later than I had planned. I had a hard time uploading photos of our wedding day. Anyway, I thought that I would share our engagement story and then some photos. Patrick and I had been dating about a year and half and I knew that the proposal was imminent. On Friday, I had lunch with my dear friend Ruth Henderson at work and she asked me what my dream proposal would look like. I told her I wanted it to be just Patrick and I (as we were never alone), that it would be simple and that he would get down on 1 knee and tell me loved me and ask me to marry him. Patrick and I had vowed not to say I love you until we were engaged and it would be the first time either one of us had said that to anyone (in that way :). The next day, on Saturday, March 11th, Patrick came over to my house. It was a rainy day and we were trying to decide what to do. My parents had gone to Texas to visit my sister and my younger sister Alyssa and I were home together. Alyssa was on the phone upstairs as Patrick and I sat on the couch trying to decide where we should go. He was acting strange - nervous and I could feel his heart pounding from where I was sitting. He told me he had an 11th gift for me in his pocket. He got me a little or big something on the 11th of every month to celebrate the day we started dating. I asked him what it was and he pulled out a box. I got very excited, and then said, "that better not be earrings." He joked back and said, "it better be what you think it is." He handed me the box, and as I opened it he got down on both of his knees and told me that he loved me and wanted to spend the rest of his life with me and asked me to marry him. I said yes and asked him to repeat the I love you over and over again. We kissed and I ran up to show Alyssa. Then we called everybody we knew. I found out later that he had asked my dad several weeks before for permission, and he had had the ring for some time, trying to figure out the the perfect way to ask me. He was going to do something big and flashy and worried that I would be disappointed at his simple proposal. Little did he know that it was the way I dreamed of.

6 months later, on September 9, 2006, I became Mrs. Patrick Murphy. We married at the Anaheim Golf Course on a perfectly beautiful day. I had my sisters and good friend stand beside me, along with my family and closest friends. It was a wonderful day followed by a fantastic honeymoon in Costa Rica. It was the beginning of a fabulous adventure together. The vows we said that day I said with all of my heart, and I am still trying to live them out. Though I believe them and try to live them, they are difficult. To honor someone 24 hours a day? That's not as easy as it sounds on your wedding day. It's hard to cherish someone when you've got 2 screaming babies, a barking dog and you are both exhausted. Yet this is what I promised to do. This is the covenant I entered with Patrick and with God. So I have to do my best each day. I admit I have failed greatly many, many days. But I pray that we both learn to love one another better each day as we grow together. As Patrick says, almost 4 years married - all the rest to go!

In the Beginning...

2010-06-15T08:28:00.000-07:00

Well... this wonderful journey of the Murphy 4 all began 6 years ago, on July 11th, 2004. A year prior, Patrick and I had met at the Vineyard Anaheim VBS - he was a helper with the 5th - 6th graders that I was in charge of. For a year we remained simply friends - I dated someone else and he moved back to Colorado for school. When he moved, I wasn't sure that we would ever see each other again, but God had a different plan. Around March Patrick randomly texted me, and it happened to be the same week that I had broken up with my boyfriend. We began a casual correspondence that was nothing more than friends. Then, Patrick returned from Colorado on Memorial Day weekend and we saw each other for the first time at the church's Memorial Day picnic. We started spending some time together - we met for a movie, he texted me A LOT, he even came over and spent time with my family. After a few weeks of his pursuit, and me seeing his amazing heart, it finally happened. After night church on July 11th, I manuevered my way into getting him to take me home. We sat in the church parking lot in his white Jeep for hours talking and ended up kissing. That was it! We were a couple. 2 weeks later I left for a missions trip to Thailand and he gave me a bag full of thoughtful gifts for my trip, including a questionnaire for me to fill out so he could get to know me better while I was gone. He went out of his way to spend time with me as much as possible, even though he worked 12 hour days at 24 hour fitness, taught tennis on his day off and volunteered with the youth at church. He amazed me at the way he made me a priority. He spoiled me with gifts to celebrate every month we were together. We were able to go through a lot together as we dated - a mission trip together to Thailand, meeting each other's family's and a lot of church events. We discussed marriage from the very beginning. Neither one of us believed in casual dating, and we talked about the hard stuff right off the bat. I was so impressed with his heart. He loved the unlovable - he was always taking care of the hard kids at church and inviting people to church from work. He was so teachable - something I am severely lacking - as he found men he respected and sought their advice, and actually applied it. He was so thoughtful and loving to me, and spent a lot of time getting to know my family. He had such a heart for the Lord and was always seeking His will, serving Him and others and was so willing to go anywhere at anytime for God. I still love his heart the most. He is smart, handsome, kind, a hard worker, loyal, honest, has the most amazing smile, the sweetest laugh, is the most wonderful dad and husband I have ever seen, but it's his heart that still makes mine skip a beat the most. Before we got together, I had been heartbroken over the last relationship I was in and I was scared to give my heart away. I told God that He would hold my heart, and that He would have to give it the the man He chose for me. When we had been together a few months I was praying and I felt God tell me that He had given my heart to Patrick, and that I could trust him with it. He's had it ever since. I could go on and on with stories of us dating and what an amazing boyfriend he was, but I will spare you. I think the best part of our dating relationship was how fearless we were. We were so ready to go anywhere and do anything as a couple. We were willing to move and be uncomfortable, and I think that it something that we have lost a little since. But, maybe we can regain that? We'll see. Stay tuned, our love story continues next week!

Joining the Challenge

2010-06-13T09:33:00.001-07:00

I am a little late in joining the Completing Him Challenge, but I'm excited to participate. Should be interesting :) Stay tuned for more

San Antonio!

2010-05-25T13:00:00.000-07:00

We went to San Antonio for a quick weekend trip to visit some of Patrick's family. We were able to celebrate with Grandpa Dex, Lita and Aunt Eliana for all of their birthdays. On Saturday we went to a kiddie park that has been there since 1925, and Paige got to ride all of the rides. It was so fun watching her. Our kids are quite the travelers. Paige has been to 7 states, and Elijah has already been to 4. They did awesome on the 5 hour drive, and Paige had no accidents! She is officially potty-trained, yahoo!!! Elijah was a little cuddle-bug, loving on everyone. It was a great quick trip and Elijah was able to meet his uncle Alex. I thought we would share some of the cute pics - I mean, how could I not share? These kids are WAY too cute not to share!

Falling on the Anvil

2010-05-06T12:19:00.001-07:00

The Hammer and the Anvil

Last eve I passed a blacksmith's door

And heard the anvil ring the vesper chime;

When looking in, I saw upon the floor

Old hammers worn with beating years of time.

"How many anvils have you had," said I,

"To wear and batter all the hammers so?"

"Just one," said he, then said with twinkling eye;

"The anvil wears the hammers out you know."

And so, I thought, the anvil of God's Word

For ages skeptics blows have beat upon;

Yet, though the noise of falling blows was heard,

The anvil is unharmed - the hammers gone!

- John Clifford -

Today is the National Day of Prayer. In fact, there is a very great possibility that today is the very last National Day of Prayer. In the past few weeks many historic events have occurred surrounding this day. A judge ruled that this celebration of prayer is unconstitutional. I heard a news broadcaster on the radio this morning sharing this story, and added that until all of the appeals are done "we can still pray." He meant it as a comfort to those who would miss this day, and that perhaps we could still participate in this national observance. But I was taken aback at his word choice - that right now it is still legal for us to pray, as if one day it could not be. Also, the Pentagon rescinded its invitation to Franklin Graham to speak at their observance of today because they said that he was too one-way in his thinking. They felt that his belief that Jesus was the only way to Heaven was biased and might offend some people. Also, he dares think that Jesus saves, and that Islam is not the way to God. My friends, the enemy is on the move. He is alive and well, using his lies, maneuvers and manipulations to subvert the Word of God, scare His children into hiding, and cause so many to compromise the Truth. We are living in a time when telling someone the Truth in love is considered hate speech, when sharing the love of God is called bias and following Him will cause you to lose friends, jobs, family and maybe even your life. But we are not the first to experience these things. In fact, we are called to experience these things. Jesus told us that if we followed Him, the world would hate us as they hate Him. Going through persecution is not new. Every single disciple, with the exception of John, was killed for their devotion to Jesus and for preaching His Word. (A side note - John did not escape persecution, just death from it. He was exposed to all kinds of insults, injuries, exile and many other things). We in America have enjoyed a life of leisure and luxury when it comes to our freedom of religion and freedom of speech. We have been free to think, say and worship whomever we choose in whatever way we choose. There are churches on almost every corner in some areas, in a variety of denominations with different music, Bible translations, baptism styles, etc. You can attend the church/synagogue/temple/mosque of your choice, or none at all (most seem to choose the latter). We have taken this for granted. Around the world Christians are beaten, stoned, burned alive, arrested, harassed, exiled, spit upon, and killed for their devotion to Christ. In China, people meet in homes in secret, at the threat of jail, torture and detriment to their families, livelihood and bodies, to read the Bible, fellowship with other believers and worship the one true God. When I visited Cuba we attended a church that is technically illegal. The members took every opportunity to be together - nearly every night they shared their food, prayed and laughed together, while outside the policia walk the streets carrying machine guns, ready to harass them. They worship God with such abandon, and depend on Him to provide their every need - from a home, to food, to medicine, healing and protection. We do not understand such a life. We cannot comprehend a time when speaking the name of Jesus is illegal, and reading the Bible can have you thrown in jail. But that day is coming. I don't know if it will come in my lifetime, next year, or a hundred years, but it will come. When it does, I will have to have already established who I serve and to Whom a belong. Today, I pray for this nation that God has chose to bless so much. But more than that I pray for the believers throughout the world that are suffering for their faith. I'm praying for the people that have laid it all on the line for Jesus, and that I would have a faith like that. I want to be willing to live sold-out for Him in whatever way that means - living in a different town, living on less, serving, forgiving those who hate me, or even unto death. I want to be willing to give whatever He would ask of me with joy because I know that the only real life worth living is the one that is surrendered to Him. So today I join thousands, maybe even millions, of believers in praying, but I pray that we would be on our knees before the Father not just today but everyday, earnestly seeking Him and living a life that is fully surrendered to His Will. The world will not like it, but just like those hammers in the poem I started with, they will fall away. Only the Lord will remain. I know how the story ends, and I want to make sure that I am standing on the side of my Lord.

Raw

2010-04-05T12:45:00.001-07:00

I feel raw right now. I feel like all of my emotions are right under the surface. I cry at the drop of a hat. I feel so many things right now. No, I am not pregnant. No, I'm not emotional. It's a culmination of so many things going on right now. Four years ago, just before Patrick and I got married, God took me through it. He pulled everything in my life that I counted on away from me. Over the course of a year, He fundamentally changed every aspect of my life, and stripped away all the safety nets I had erected. I remember praying about all of these changes one night at church and the Lord giving me a picture of an onion whose layers were being peeled away one at a time. He said that this was me - He was systematically peeling away all of the layers around my heart so that nothing would be between Him and me. After a year of this, I finally felt so overwhelmed. It was a hard process. I cried out to God and said I could take no more. He said that He was done peeling away, and that now He would restore things to me in His way and replace my distractions with Him. I foolishly thought that this would happen overnight. When it was taking months, I went to the Lord again and asked Him why it was taking so long to restore me. (Impatient much?) He answered that He was going to restore me through my marriage. I was a few weeks from my wedding day and thought that my honeymoon was going to be even better than expected. Beyond a new life, a new name, new home, and new (ahem) experiences ;) I would be getting my heart restored. Again, so impatient. God did not mean that it would happen at my wedding, or on my honeymoon, or even in the first year. He meant that over time, over a lifetime, He would be restoring me rightly to Himself, and that my marriage would be the primary place He would do that. I also thought that this would be a spectator sport for me - I would just sit back and see God doing things on my behalf and blessing my marriage and subsequently me. And while at times this was true, overall God was using my marriage to expose my sin and my wrong attitudes. Now I am at the crossroads of choice. Do I choose to go the way I've been going, or turn another way? Do I do what is easy, natural and familiar, or do I begin the hard work of relearning life, reviewing my actions and motives, and looking at everything differently? I have slowly been making the latter choice. It's hard, a daily struggle to choose the hard road, which in the end is the easy road. Doing things God's way means being thought weird, unpopular, hated, ridiculed and often going it alone. But it also means freedom, joy, peace and a knowledge that God is using all of it for my good and His glory. This was not always the case. I kind of checked out for a few years. I kept reading the Word, praying and trusting the Lord, but I did not seek for Him to change me. I would say I wanted Him to change me, but I feared what that would entail and in my heart I would wish He would just leave me alone. I thought if I did the right things, said the right things, and acted the right way God would bless me and give me all the things I needed and wanted. Over those checked out years I dealt with depression, loneliness, and a feeling of being far from God in my heart. I felt lost, and truly I was. I was looking outwardly and inwardly, instead of looking up. I thought I could figure it out for myself, as long as I consulted God. But God wanted much more than that. He wanted me to make Him the basis and foundation for ALL of my decisions, from what I ate to what I watched, wore, bought, said, thought, read - you name it, He wanted a say. Instead of being a consultant He wanted to be the decision-maker. And after years of fighting, I have finally relinquished. I have allowed Him in, all the way in. This is a day to day, moment to moment decision. It's scary and exciting and freeing and hard. And this is why I feel so raw. My exposed heart is now being steered by the Lord, and He is causing me to see sin and people and everything in a whole new way - His way. I now have much more compassion for the sinners, and much more hate for the sin that separates them from their loving God. I see things so much more as black and white, and thus my decisions are much easier to make. But they are often more difficult to execute. It's easy to know what I need to do, it's difficult to step out and do it. So I am raw with emotion, on the cusp of a new life God is calling me too. What will that entail? I have no idea! I don't know what changes He'll make, or what things will remain, and while this would have scared the living daylights out of old scheduled, planner me, I'm choosing to be excited about this. I'm choosing to look ahead with hope, though the world looks bleak. I'm choosing to be joyful, though all the circumstances tell me to fear. And I'm choosing to get ready for a fight. All of the things God has done and shown me in the past few years have confirmed to me that this life is a fight, and I need to take up my sword and get in the battle. Being raw and exposed is not only something the Lord wants, but also something the enemy wants. He wants to take advantage of me being exposed and lead me down a wrong path. He wants to manipulate situations and emotions and draw me away from the Lord. So I need to be ready to fight for the things God is calling me to, and the things He is giving me. I need to fight for my family, for my marriage, for my relationship with Him, for the future and purpose He has called me to, and against the sin of this world. This is not the time to rest, this is the time to stand up and fight for my restoration and for my life in Him. I am reading Judges with my Bible study and I was struck by chapter 3 verses 1&2 -

"These are the nations the Lord left to test all those Israelites who had not experienced any of the wars in Canaan (He did this only to teach warfare to the descendants of the Israelites who had not previous battle experience)..."

Why did they need battle experience? Because they would face future wars. They needed to be tested in the battles so that they would win in the war. This time of being raw before the Lord, and ripe for battle is to get me ready for the war that's coming. So instead of fighting with God over why I have to fight at all, or opting to sit out, I am picking up my sword and falling in line. I'm going to feel all the emotions (not run from them or "medicate" myself with distractions), and make the hard choices, and be open to what God is calling me too in every aspect of my life. I'm excited to see where He's leading, and what He's calling me and my family to, and all the changes that will occur. Who knows, maybe this time next year I won't recognize myself :).

Happy Easter!

2010-03-29T17:06:00.001-07:00

Dedicated!

2010-03-15T05:10:00.000-07:00

Well... we finally did it. Yesterday, on Sunday, March 14th, we had our two babies dedicated to the Lord. For those of you who are wondering what that means I will explain. It all started thousands of years ago. A woman named Hannah was desperate to have children. She prayed constantly that God would give her a child, and promised that if He did she would give the child back to Him. She did not complain about her situation, but praised God in spite of her circumstance. Then, one day, God granted her request. This barren woman gave birth to a perfect baby boy, whom she named Samuel. After he was weaned, she brought him to the temple to be raised up in the Lord with the priest Eli. He became one of the greatest prophets in Israel - anointing David as king. Hundreds of years later, when Jesus was a baby, Mary and Joseph brought Him to the temple to dedicate Him to the Lord in a similar fashion. Today we brought Paige and Elijah to Hope Fellowship, our temple, and took them up in front of the entire congregation. There we pledged to raise them up in the Lord, to give them back to Him and to trust the Lord in His plans for them. Our Pastor, John, prayed over them and he and the church as a body pledge to do their part in encouraging the kids in the walk with the Lord and helping to lead them in His ways. Even better, Paige and Elijah got to share this day with their cousin Evelyn, who was also dedicated yesterday. What a glorious celebration! The beautiful gifts of our children that we have been given by God we now joyfully entrust back to Him. The truth is that we have to do this everyday, and have been doing it since they were born. But much like a baptism, it is an outward ceremonial expression of what we do in our hearts and with our actions each day we walk with Jesus. It was a simple, beautiful thing that we are so blessed to have had the opportunity to do.

Milestones

2010-03-05T19:43:00.000-08:00

Hey All! We thought we'd share some major milestones that have happened in the past month. Our beautiful baby girl turned 18 months on February 20th. Where has the time gone?

Elijah got his very first haircut just in time for Valentine's Day

Elijah turned 4 months on February 28th

And Elijah rolled over all on his own for the first time on March 3rd. Our little man is on the move! It's all going so fast. It seems like they grow an inch every day, and it's so fun to watch more and more of their little personalities emerge each day. God sure did bless us with wonderful children. I wish that a camera did them justice, but trust me people - these kids are gorgeous! I wish you all could hear Paige say the new word she learns each day, that only we can truly understand. Or hear Elijah babbling right when he wakes up in the morning. Or see them splash in the tub, or give each other kisses and hugs, or Paige fix her face to pray, or a million other adorable things they do. They are amazing, and we're so glad we get to be their parents.

1 Year

2010-02-26T12:30:00.001-08:00

So... it's finally here. The dreaded anniversary has arrived. One year ago today. In fact, in about twenty minutes it will be exactly one year ago that my dad went to be with the Lord. I remember that day vividly and incrementally. It feels like 5 different days all in one. The day started out just like any other. I said goodbye to Patrick, fed and dressed Paige and myself. Then I took a pregnancy test, 2 in fact, and found out that little Elijah was on his way.I met Patrick for lunch at Chipotle and shared the good news with him. We decided to wait until after Evelyn (my niece) was born to share the news with everyone else. She was due to arrive March 25th. I left lunch, stopped by the store to pick up one more test just to make sure, and came home to put Paige down for a nap. As she slept I got to work on decorations for a friend's baby shower that I was helping host in the coming weeks. Then, a little after 3 p.m., I got a call from Annette. She was frantic and hard to understand. She said that dad had been in an accident, Richie had called her, and she and my mom were on their way to Plano Presbyterian Hospital. I called Patrick and Alyssa and prayed and prayed as I got Paige up and dressed for what I thought might be a long night at the hospital. Patrick came and picked me up, and we embarked on the worst car ride of my life. I prayed and worshiped the Lord to Chris Tomlin as we hurried there. My brother called to see if I was on my way, but wouldn't give me details. He just told me to hurry. I felt that he wasn't telling me the hard truth. He called again, we were taking longer than expected. We had gone the wrong way and ended up driving into a shut down street. As we passed the accident, I saw the motorcycle from afar and knew that it was my dad's accident. I can still see that picture of the crash in my head. The motorcycle looked like the accident wasn't too bad, but I feared the worst. Richie was imploring us to get there, and I made him tell me that my dad was gone. He said he didn't want to tell me that if I was driving, but when I assured him that Patrick was behind the wheel he told me that dad was gone. I called Alyssa to tell her, but she already knew. Richie was afraid to tell me if I was driving and wanted to wait until I got there. We arrived at the ambulance bay a few moments later. It was not even 4 p.m. Rich met us outside. He came up and hugged me and cried and told me how sorry he was that he couldn't save him. I didn't know, but Richie was riding on a bike behind him and had seen the accident. He tried to save my dad, but couldn't. I was heartbroken for him. I looked up and saw people from the church waiting with my nephews, and people I didn't recognize. How did they get there before me? Who called them? It was wonderful that they were there, but I was so surprised to see them. I went in and saw my mom, sister and my dad. There he was. Laying there with a big black eye and a bruise on his head. He looked good. He looked like himself. I expected to walk in and see him and that he would look different, lifeless. But he looked like he was sleeping. He was so handsome. I would not let myself cry in front of my mom. I wanted to be strong for her and not add to her grief. And it just all felt so surreal. Like, how could this be happening? It didn't feel real at all. I kept expecting him to sit up and say it was all fine. I kept studying his hands. His little stubby fingers, hairy knuckles, nails bit down very short, always tan and calloused from hard work. I was afraid I forget what his beautiful hands looked like. I was afraid I would forget his laugh, or the sound of his voice, or the funny things he would say, or the expressions he made, or how he smelled. I was afraid I would lose the things you couldn't capture in a photograph. We stayed there for hours. Afraid to leave him. Wonderful pastors like John and Larry came in to love on us. My mom and family were amazing. We finally left and went to Annette's house. Aubrey and Aaron from the church had dropped off pizzas for the whole family, and the ladies from our Bible study came not long after with food for the morning. So many people blessed us with flowers, food, prayers and help in the following days. It still boggles my mind how much people did for us. We went to the airport to pick up Alyssa and drove past the spot it happened. To this day it's impossible for me to drive past it without thinking of my dad and the accident. But I can drive past it. That car, that place, that motorcycle, that accident didn't take my dad away. My heavenly Father called my daddy home, and not one minute early or late. We picked up a very pregnant Alyssa and Brian. We drove home in a very quiet car. We drove back over the spot. We stayed up altogether, but no one really spoke. We just kind of stared. Then, very late that night, we went to bed in little Joey's room, with Paige sleeping at our feet. All of us stayed at Annette's house for the next couple of days as family and friends came in from all over. It was an amazing time. God provided for my family in ways I never knew I would need Him to. He took care of food, bills, work - all kinds of things. He brought so much comfort. And the more I look back at that time, I see God's loving hand in all of it. He even tied up so many loose ends before my dad went home. The day he died, he had just finished the front porch he was putting in. I think now how painful it would have been for my mom to come home day after day to that unfinished. But mercifully, God allowed my dad to finish that beautiful front porch right in time. Also, about a week or so before the accident, Alyssa and Brian made an unplanned visit out here to see us. On a whim they drove out and spent a few days with my mom and dad and visiting with us all. God did not have to give us those last days together, but He graciously did. My dad had reinstated life insurance he had once let lapse, and a million other little things that revealed God's loving hand throughout that whole time and all the time since. My daddy told me everyday how much he loved me, that he was so proud of me, and that I was the prettiest girl. We didn't see each other without giving a kiss and a hug and lots of I love you's. I am so thankful that we left nothing unsaid, and that I know without a shadow of a doubt that he is rejoicing with the angels in heaven. My dad knew Jesus intimately here on earth, and now gets to rest in Presence all the time. I miss him, but I know that this is not the end. We do not grieve like those with no hope, because I know where my dad is and to whom he belongs. I know we will be together again. And I feel very blessed to have had such a wonderful father and friend for almost 27 years. Most people aren't that lucky. I also don't believe in coincidences. I feel that my dad got to see Elijah and Evelyn before all of us did. Elijah has my dad's blue eyes, and a lot of Adams features. I see so much of my dad in him, and I rejoice that my dad will never truly be gone from us. The life that he led and the faith that he had will bless all of us for generations to come. This anniversary marks a sad and beautiful day when my dad left us, and joined Jesus. I feel very blessed to have had him as my dad. I miss you daddy, and I can't wait to be together again!

Giveaway! Hooray!

2010-02-22T17:00:00.000-08:00

I don't know about you, but I LOVE free stuff. Even better, I love when a great company hosts a free giveaway of a fantastic product. Last Wednesday I had the great honor of winning some green coffee beans with instructions for fresh roasting them over at my friend Katie Riddle's blog. So excited to try them! The difference in flavor and nutrition is supposed to be phenomenal. Now another giveaway is going on. As most of you know, Patrick and I have chosen to cloth diaper our little ones for a variety of reasons - it saves money, it keeps them from harmful chemicals found in disposables, it produces less waste, etc. Well... the company Envibum is hosting a giveaway over at www.passionatehomemaking.com . She is picking 3 winners, each of which will get their favorite diaper from Envibum. I like Envired - so cute! So go check it out, and hopefully we can both win :)

40 Days and 40 Nights

2010-02-17T12:26:00.000-08:00

Today is Ash Wednesday, the very first day of the Lenten Season. I don't know about you, but I'm excited. 2009 was the most challenging year I have ever had to face. The enemy attacked us on all sides - physical, emotional, spiritual, financial - you name it, we struggled with it. But much like Joseph's brothers in Genesis, what the enemy meant for evil, God meant for good. The hard things that could and should have ripped my marriage, family, sanity and relationship with the Lord apart did not have the affect that the devil intended. No, he meant to use them to destroy me. He wanted me to fight with my husband over money (or the lack thereof); to isolate from my family when we lost my dad; to become easily offended with people who were insensitive or far away; to not trust God with anything because of all the pain and the piles of problems that loomed before; to get lost in sadness, anger, grief and loneliness; and to allow physical problems to sideline me from life with the ones I loved. And while there were days when I succumbed to the pity party the devil was throwing in my honor and all of the tricks he was using to pull me out of the race, God used all of these things to make me stronger. How does He do it? How does He always take my weak, pathetic excuse for faith and build it into an amazing testimony of who He is? I really don't know how, but as I look back on this excruciating year I am humbled by the outpouring of love and grace that I see from Him. My marriage is stronger than it ever has been, and I enjoy my husband more every day. I see more and more what a strong, capable, considerate, loving, honest and godly man I married. He embodies the word integrity, and I am so proud of the man that he is. My children are truly a blessing from the Lord. Every time I look into Elijah's eyes, I see my dad and I am overwhelmed with gratitude because I know that although he is not here with me, he will never be gone. I and my children are still reaping the blessings of his faithful service to the Lord, and we will continue to do so. And I know that he is heaven with the Lord, and we will get to join him one day. Paige's smile has been a great comfort to me, Patrick and my mom. On the days it seemed our grief was at its worst, God used Paige's innocent and sweet smile to bring about so much comfort and peace. Even today, nearly a year later, her smile and gentle love reminds me of how God gently loved us during that difficult time. Our finances were a roller-coaster ride this year, and continue to be. Patrick went from bad job to bad job to finally finding a wonderful job that he loves. But despite the financial shortfall we encountered every single month, God has provided for our every need. We are current on every bill, and have never had to go without. God miraculously provided us with not only what we needed, but also what we wanted throughout the entire year. He showed Himself in a big way to us, using little miracles (is there such a thing?) here and there to provide for us. From $350 worth of diapers on our doorstep, to unexpected bonuses from jobs Patrick no longer held, to people buying my jam, gift certificates coming in the mail, boxes of clothes being sent at the perfect time (check out a few previous posts to know more) - God astounds me with His creativity in blessing us. I am humbled as I look back on 2009. And honestly, I think I am grateful for that awful year. Does that mean I'm happy my dad died, or that we struggled? - No, but I now see that I didn't go through those things alone. God gently lead me through them, and shielded me from so many things in the midst of it all. If I did not have Him, I would have had to go it alone, and I would be fighting against the devil by myself. I would have given up long ago, and not only would I not be receiving the peace and blessing I do now, I would be defeated, depressed and struggling all the more. As I look at the Lenten season and begin to fast from the things the Lord has called me away from, I am filled with anticipation. What now Lord? What things are You going to reveal to me now? How will show Yourself in these 40 days? How much better will everything be the closer I draw to You? I realize that so much was stripped away last year, but in a lot of ways that was a good thing. My false sense of security in this life or in people or in a job or in money or in my health were all ripped from my grasp and I was left with the truth - that God is my rock. He is the only thing that never changes. And with this truth came so much freedom. The stripping away was painful, but it left my heart and hands open to receive all that the Lord wants to give me. And He is the giver of every good and perfect gift, so I want whatever He has to give me. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 has always been my life verse, and now I see even more His power being perfected in my weakness. I pray that this season of self-denial that will, I'm sure, be wrought with even more attacks from the enemy and leave me feeling weak, will be another opportunity for God to demonstrate His infinite power. I invite you to be weak with me, and watch God move, because I think last year - the ups and downs - are only a preview of what's to come.

Sickness :(

2010-01-31T06:48:00.001-08:00

Well... it's happened. For the first time ever our ENTIRE family is sick. Boo! It's one of those devil viruses that no medicine will help. You just have to wait it out and do the homeopathic route (which I prefer over medicine anyway). Last Friday, Paige got a really runny nose and a little fever. Later that night Patrick came down with it too. Paige got progressively worse with this awful cold that made her so miserable. It was so sad, but it's been on the decline and only a nasty cough still persists. Patrick is also on the mend, thank you Lord. I worked so hard to keep Elijah and I from getting it, with my biggest fear being that we would continue to pass it back and forth to one another. Well, Elijah got a cold in his eye which is so sad to watch. Now it has moved into his nose and chest. And now, finally I have succumb to the evil virus. I have the worst sore throat I can remember ever having. So right now we are all in various stages of being sick. It's been 10 days, and I have had enough. But, I do see the healing on the horizon, and I'm holding fast to that. :) By the way, my babies are now 17 months and 3 months respectively. Can you believe that? I can't! Elijah is so big - over 15 pounds and 27 inches long. That's right, I said 15 pounds. Paige was 19 pounds at a year people. This boy is big, and beautiful. He has the most piercingly beautiful blue eyes, that look a lot like his late Papa's, and the sweetest smile. He is the happiest baby and is always flirting with the girls. Paige on the other hand is such a little grown up. She is saying so many words now, and doing so many things. We have even started a little bit of preschool with her, and she is picks up things so fast. When I say preschool I mean mommy and Paige at the kitchen table learning, not some institution. Patrick is doing amazing at his new job. He acquired more clients than anyone in his office for the month of January. He is so talented. And if you ever need insight on insurance, or financial matters he's a wealth of knowledge. So proud of my man. I am doing well. I love being with my babies, and finally feel like I have a schedule that works. Also, I have begun making all natural jellies and jams. If you ever want some of any kind (organic, sugar-free, etc.) let me know and I will be happy to oblige. :) I also have a few other little things I've been working on to see if I can make a little extra money from home - things like baking, baby blankets and tile covered trays. Anyway, just thought I'd update you on us a little instead of simply focusing on this dumb sickness. We remain abundantly blessed even in the midst of this sickness. So if you think of us, please pray it passes quickly. There is nothing sadder than sick babies who feel miserable, and I have 2 right now. But I will leave you on a high note - pictures of the two cutest kids ever. Enjoy!

A Christmas Miracle!

2009-12-27T20:09:00.000-08:00

On Christmas Eve we were given an amazing gift. I opened my front door to turn on some lights and found a box sitting on my doorstep. On top was a computer print out that said Patrick and Regina Murphy and our address. There was no postage or return address. I brought the box inside and opened it. Inside was the box was nothing short of a miracle. Now to truly understand this you must know a few things - I have been cloth diapering Paige since she was about 4 months, but I couldn't afford the kind of diapers I really wanted and the number I truly needed. I have been wanting to cloth diaper Eli, but Paige's covers are too big and there are not enough to use for both of them. I resolved to save the money (which we definitely don't have right now) to buy the diapers I want. I figured it would take me around 6 months to save the money if I set aside some every week and went without some other things. But this box changed all of that. Inside this box was 25 cloth diapers. And not just any cloth diapers, but the exact style, type and even colors I wanted. I'm not sure that I have ever even said exactly what I wanted out loud. I received 25 Smartipants diapers, 12 cloth wipes, a wet bag and shower sprayer. I have no idea who left this expensive and amazing gift for us, but I know that it was God displaying His love for us. With the stock I already have I will be able to diaper both babies, and save us a lot of money. But perhaps the best thing in the box was a small note that simply said "God Bless the Murphy Family." He surely does, and this miracle was just one example but it got me thinking. This has been an interesting year. Our family has had to face some horrible things - my dad's sudden death, Patrick being laid off, a horrible interim job, many family members being diagnosed with cancer and financial troubles. But in the midst of all of these heartaches, trials and tribulations God has shown Himself in bigger and better ways than we have ever seen. Upon my dad's death we learned that he had life insurance, something none of us children knew. The money from that paid off debts, paid for the funeral and left my mom enough money to be able to pay the bills. When Patrick was laid off and we had no income for a month God provided unexpected gifts and checks that paid every bill on time and left us never wanting. The horrible job provided our family with money, new friends and some perspective. We learned to praise God in every circumstance. We saw God provide for our financial needs in every situation. He came through with just what we needed just in time, every time. Then there were the physical miracles. My cousin Tim was healed of cancer after surgery. My cousin Ashley's cancerous brain tumor was miraculously healed through prayer. My cousin Daniella's appendicitis was cured through prayer. Our dear friend Joe was healed of colon and kidney cancer without any chemo. The list goes on and on. But perhaps most of all I have seen Him drawing a lot of my family back to Him. Many of my cousins have come face to face with their Savior this year, and changed their hearts and lives to follow Him. It has been awesome to witness God calling His children home to Him. My God is so good! He amazes me. In all of these awful things He has sustained us, provided hope and proven faithful. But even more than that He has chosen to bless us in the midst of it all. He has given us exceedingly and abundantly more than we could think or ask. These diapers may seem silly to some, but to me they are just another example of how my God lavishes His love on us so generously. He doesn't hold back, He always comes through, He's never late and He delights in His children. Thank You Jesus!!

Yay for Christmas!

2009-12-21T09:23:00.000-08:00

YAY!!! It's Christmas time - our favorite time of year. We couldn't even wait until after Thanksgiving to decorate the house. We were so excited, and this year has definitely not disappointed. Does life get any better than Christmas with kids? I don't think so. Watching them discover things and get excited over the little wonders of the season brings so much joy. Paige LOVES everything Christmas. She loves the trees, the lights, the decorations, the food, everything. Wait, there is one thing she does not like - Santa. She hates him. She runs screaming from him when she sees him. It's actually pretty funny to watch. Elijah loves watching Paige get excited, and is such a happy boy. We've had a busy and fun month so far. We've made a gingerbread house, have gone to numerous Christmas parties, picked out the perfect tree, made our traditional Christmas cookies with family, met Santa and even got to visit family in Colorado and see some snow. Wow! It's been so fun, and it's not even over yet. Hard to believe, but our baby girl is 16 months old - running everywhere and talking a mile a minute (I wonder where she gets that from?). Elijah will be 2 months old next week. That's right, I said 2 months old. Where has the time gone? He's growing like a weed, and eating ALL the time. He's the cutest little boy ever, with the sweetest disposition. So we've already received the best gifts ever. We really don't need anything else. Paige and Eli are the best gifts we've ever gotten. And watching them enjoy all the things we love just makes our joy even greater.

Sharing

2009-11-22T06:45:00.000-08:00

Just thought we'd share some pictures of the 2 cutest kids on the planet. This is what life has been like the past 3 weeks at our house. Blessed much?

Welcome to the World Elijah David!

2009-11-03T12:12:00.000-08:00

Elijah David Murphy

born Wednesday, October 28, 2009

at 5:03 p. m.

8 lbs. 3 oz.

21 inches long

On Wednesday, October 28, I went in for my midwife appointment for my 39 week check up. The week before I had been dilated to 4, and I had hoped to go into labor anytime. I was praying that she would say that today was the day. My midwife checked me and told me I was at 5, nearly 6, and that my bag of waters was ready to break. She told me to go to the hospital and get checked in, and she would meet me there in a few hours to break my water. My mom had come with me and had Paige in the waiting room. I came out and told her we had to go. I quickly called Patrick to meet us there. We got to the hospital around 11:30 a. m. and checked in. I was put in a room and they started monitoring me around 12. I was having pretty consistent contractions but no real pain. Patrick soon arrived, and he and my mom left together to get our bags, and my mom took Paige to her house to eat and take a nap. Patrick returned around 2, right after my midwife had broken my water. Labor kicked in and my contractions started coming really hard and fast. My goal was to have as natural a birth as possible, and as the pain increased I worried I wouldn't be able to take the pain. Patrick was so helpful in coaching me to breathe, but I did finally cave in and get a temporary pain shot that lasted for about 15 minutes. The shot came around 3: 45 p. m. when I was at a 7. I was in transition and the pain was very intense. I worried I would be in that pain for a long time, but transition lasted hardly anytime at all. The pain medication wore off quickly, and my midwife came in at just about that time. She had me lay on a birthing ball, and that really helped with the pain. Then she asked if I wanted her to check me. When she did, she said I was ready to push. It was only 4: 45! I couldn't believe how fast I had progressed. When I had Paige everything moved so slowly, and this time everything was happening so fast. Patrick quickly called my mom to tell her she better be on her way. She was coming, but so was Eli. I only pushed for about 15 minutes, and Eli was here. My mom arrived just as his head came out. He was born at 5: 03. The cord was wrapped around his neck and his face was blue, but he was perfect. A beautiful baby boy. This whole experience was so wonderful. I remember all of it, every part. And although it was hard and painful I believe that going without the drugs made it go so much smoother and faster. I am so thankful for how it all went, and for a midwife that really understood what I wanted, and nurses that were very helpful, family that prayed and cared for Paige, and a wonderful husband who never left my side, encouraged me, and even slept on the hospital floor for us. What a beautiful little blessing this boy is already!

Paige and the Pumpkins

2009-11-03T12:00:00.000-08:00

Sorry for the gap in updates. It's been a busy few weeks :). Last Sunday, you know way back in October when we were a family of 3, we took Paige to the Pumpkin patch after church. Paige LOVES pumpkins! She gets so excited every time she sees one. The pumpkin patch was the perfect place to take her. She walked all over the place looking at all the different kinds of pumpkins, and had the best time. She even got to see baby chicks, rabbits and ducks too. Later that day, we went to our church's fall festival and had Paige dress up as a ladybug. She was the cutest kid ever in that little costume. The next night we carved our little family pumpkins and lit them up. It was a wonderful few days of fall fun that Paige had a blast with before becoming a big sister.

Elijah's On His Way!

2009-10-07T14:29:00.000-07:00

Hello All! I am now 36 weeks pregnant. In some ways this pregnancy has flown by, and in other ways it seems like I have been pregnant forever. But, regardless of how big my belly gets or how many millions of times a day I feel this little miracle move it still does not seem real that in a few short weeks a whole new person will be here living with us. He has such a personality already, and I am beyond excited to see his face and hold him close. I know that everything is going to change so much when he gets here, and I'm really excited for that too. We are pretty much ready for him to get here. We still have a few loose ends to tie up, but overall we have all we really need for him. I have even finished buying and wrapping over half of all our Christmas gifts. But, even though we are ready for him I am in no hurry for him to arrive. The midwife yesterday let me know that I am already 2 centimeters dilated. That's crazy! When I was pregnant with Paige I was at 1 until I was 41 weeks along. This is pretty early, but it could stay this way for weeks and weeks or progress much faster. We'll see what God has planned for this little guy's arrival. We'll keep you posted. Please pray that we have a safe and easy delivery.

As for our little 13 month old beauty - she is everywhere! She is walking and trying to run all over the place. Paige loves to dance, and is even now twirling around. She is starting to say lots of fun words, and does quite a bit of baby sign. We bought her a potty chair to start learning on, and she's still figuring that out. She spends most of her day chasing our dog Lola around the house and taking things in and out of her toy box. She's ridiculously smart and gets sweeter each day. We are truly blessed indeed that we have one happy and healthy little girl, and a very active and healthy little boy on his way.

As for Patrick and I - Patrick started a new job a few weeks ago. What a blessing! After 5 years of crazy hours, no weekends off, constant phone calls and drama, Patrick has started a new job that encourages spending more time with your family and in your church. We are so excited to see what God is going to do through this new job, and this new company that we really believe in. By the way, the company is called Northwestern Mutual and Patrick is working in financial planning - things like life insurance, disability insurance, and stuff like that. So great! And such an answer to prayer. This past year has been hard, and it's still a struggle, but I know that God has been refining us through all of this loss and trial, and showing us who he really is. I'm excited for what's to come. :)

33 weeks Pregnant!

2009-09-15T15:34:00.001-07:00

First Steps!

2009-08-27T18:22:00.000-07:00

Tonight Paige took her first real steps. Granted she has been standing alone for weeks, but always sat down to start crawling. Tonight she let go of the coffee table and took 3 big steps right to her mama on the couch. It was so awesome! So look out world! Our baby girl is on the move!

Can I Get a Witness?!

2009-08-26T18:11:00.000-07:00

Is anyone else in need of some good news? I swear, I'm afraid to answer my phone anymore with all the bad news I get almost daily. Patrick HATES his job and is constant fear of losing it, money is tight, our health insurance is almost a weekly annoyance, Paige keeps having little stomach problems that we can't figure out the cause of, my cousin Tim was just diagnosed with cancer, my mom is working 2 jobs and she hasn't slept a full night since we lost my dad, we have no real friends here in Texas except my family, I'm scared of the direction our country is going, today is the 6 month anniversary of my dad's death, and on and on it goes. I feel like I'm sitting on the sidelines watching all of this go on with no power to do ANYTHING. It's such torture to watch people I love hurt and mourn and feel dejected and be powerless to help them. I'm so tired! I'm ready for some good news already. But then I'm reminded that I've already received the greatest news of all. God sent His Son into the world and He took ALL of my sin and shame and nailed it to the cross. I should be rejoicing in that news alone because it is more than I could ever deserve. He daily carries my burdens. He knows my every need, and He supplies it. I want to live in that truth all day everyday, but these stupid distractions keep popping up. My focus has become so blurred that I'm having a hard time seeing God in all of this - but He's there. In fact, He's right in the middle of it all. He holding us up and protecting us and providing for us and loving us through all of this junk. I keep hearing the verse where Jesus says that in this world we will have troubles, but take heart for I have overcome the world. He is in control. Nothing is a surprise to Him. Nothing is hard for Him. And He promises that He will not withhold any good thing from me if I follow Him. So, I am going to refocus and follow Him and trust that He sees what I don't. I'm going to allow Him to open my eyes to see the things that He is doing on my and my family's behalf. I'm going to lay aside my anger, hurt, frustration and fear, and let Him have complete control. Peace only comes from trusting Him, and that's what I'm going to do. This is no easy task. It's not like I just decide to do this and all of this stuff goes away. Oh no! In fact I fully expect the devil to hit us even harder as we trust in Him all the more. But all of these trials and struggles are a means to either pull us further from our Lord or closer to Him. I need to press in. I need to give Him my fears, failures and struggles daily, if not minute to minute. I need to arm myself with His Word, and speak truth into the lies that the enemy keeps hurling at me. I can't give up. I won't! I am more than a conqueror in Christ, and it's time I live like it. I'm done being depressed and defeated and ready to step into joy regardless of my circumstance. So, although there are a lot of reasons to complain and be sad I am going to live on the Lord's strength and not my own.

Paige's 1st Birthday Party

2009-08-23T11:04:00.000-07:00

Our baby girl is not a baby anymore, she's a little girl now. Yesterday we celebrated her first birthday with a very small family party. Mommy made LOTS of cupcakes, daddy worked hard at the grill and Paige had the very best day ever. It seems like a lot of toddlers hate their birthday party, but Paige loved it. She had so much fun playing with everyone, opening her presents and eating cupcakes. She was all smiles all evening, and such a little hostess. We decided to try to make her day the most fun possible by keeping it small and simple, and having the party start after her afternoon nap. So around 4 p.m. our home was filled with grandparents and uncles and aunts and cousins, lots of good food, and a lot of love. She loved every single present (and so did we - they were perfect for her needs and her little personality). She got winter clothes, books, baby dolls and some toys that make fun noises. The day just could not have gone better for her, and we are so thankful that our little girl had such a great day. Paige definitely deserved it.

1 Year Already!

2009-08-20T09:50:00.000-07:00

Today our beautiful baby girl is 1. Can you believe it? The year has flown by, and yet we cannot imagine a life without this perfect little blessing. Paige is a so amazing! We wish everyone could see her smile with her little spaced teeth, or hear her laugh with her hearty giggle, or watch her run away when she thinks she's in trouble, or hear her squeal with delight when she plays, or see her play so sweetly and gently with her baby cousin Evelyn, or watch her get so excited when she sees Drew and Jake have come to play, or see her wrinkle her little nose as she makes a hilarious grunting noise, or see her wonderful dance moves, and hear her sing in the backseat of the car. She is so full of joy that she lights up every room. We cannot walk into a store without someone commenting how beautiful she is. Paige is so smart - she responds to everything you say. She loves to be part of the action, but gets uncomfortable if all the attention is on her. She loves to look through books and point at all the pictures. She chases our dog Lola throughout the house and tries to pet her tail. She refuses to walk, although she is more than capable. She loves to get and give kisses and hugs, and wakes up with a big smile on her face. She will be a sweet and gentle big sister to Elijah in a few short weeks. Being the parents of this little blessing is a privilege, and we love our job! We are loving this stage in her life, and are excited for all the ones to come. God has big plans for this little girl.

Insurance Updates

2009-08-11T15:01:00.000-07:00

So a few weeks ago I shared some of the struggles we have faced with insurance, faith and God's provision during this pregnancy. Since then we hit yet another interesting snag, and witnessed Our Lord show us once again that we are His and He takes care of His own. Last week I went to pick up a prescription for my thyroid (I discovered I had hypothyroidism when I was pregnant with Paige and have been taking this medication since). When I went to pay I gave them my new insurance card. The pharmacist said that there seemed to be a problem, so he called the insurance to work it out. I could not believe what happened next. The pharmacist told me that the insurance company had told him that I was not insured and hadn't been since May 31st. He said that Patrick was the one that we extended the insurance for, and not me. What? So, I told him to hold the prescription (which quadrupled in price without the coverage) and called Patrick to find out if he knew anything about this. He said that he would call our provider and find out. I figured it must be some little mistake that would easily be fixed because I filled out all the paperwork and double checked it all. Boy was I wrong. The insurance I had signed up for was COBRA, which we received through his former employer. Our provider informed Patrick that any errors in our paperwork would result in me not being covered at all. In other words, the money we have paid up until now was for nothing and we would be responsible for every doctor bill, test, sonogram and the entire hospital stay. If, however, the fault was theirs, it would all be made right. I could not believe this. I knew that I had filled the paperwork out correctly. I was so frustrated. Another problem for no apparent reason when I had done everything I was supposed to do. I had filled out the paperwork and paid everything on time, yet we were facing huge bills. It seems like lately we have to fight for every inch. Why couldn't things just work out the way they were supposed to? Well, it turns out they did. After 3 days of phone calls and scare, Patrick got a hold of our provider and they told us that I had checked a box on the form that I shouldn't have. This should be reason enough for me not to be covered and for them to save all their money. Yet they decided to fix the problem for us, just because. They told Patrick that I would be covered from now on, and the past 2 months retroactively. It was fixed just like that. But why? The company was looking for any reason not to cover us and this was a perfect out for them. It is something that on the surface made no sense, or simply looked like some "good luck." But I don't believe in luck, I believe in Jesus. He knows my every need and even my every want. If they had decided not to cover us it would have been hard, but we would have survived. I had no doubt that God would provide either way. But this meant less stress, less money and less headaches for us. God allowed all of this to show us yet again that He is in control of every aspect of our lives - our health, our finances, our family, all of it. He showed us that He cares about all of it, and that He provides for us. These headaches bring to our attention just how much He cares and all that He does on our behalf. If we had never had a glitch at all we would not have been aware of God in the midst of us. We would have overlooked His place in all of this, and attributed it all to our hard work, the money we paid, and our fortunate insurance. So thank you Jesus! Thank you for being the giver of every good and perfect gift. Thank you for being more than enough. Thank you for never leaving or forsaking us. Thank you for caring about every detail, and showing us how infinite and boundless your love is. You are truly good.

7 Months Pregnant!

2009-08-09T18:42:00.000-07:00

Little Elijah showing himself.

We are now 7 months along with this sweet baby boy.

He's so active - kicking and pushing out all the time. So hard to believe that

he'll be here in 12 weeks. It's really coming quick.

Go Bananas!

2009-07-31T12:43:00.000-07:00

The Business of Birth

2009-07-23T18:45:00.001-07:00

This post will be a little different than the others. This post is strictly about insurance issues, money problems and God's provision. As I mentioned in an earlier post, this year and pregnancy have been wrought with unexpected difficulties. Praise God that Eli and I have been healthy since day one, but external issues have arisen. The day that we found out we were expecting a new miracle, we lost my dad; after much searching I found a midwife that I loved, but also found that our insurance had changed and that my pregnancy care would cost significantly more than it had with Paige; Patrick was let go from his job in May, and thus we lost all our benefits; the health benefits offered with Patrick's new job were not enough to cover my expenses at the hospital, and were very expensive for me, along with the fact that we were making less money. Then, the company tried to use a loophole to deny coverage for Patrick and Paige. And on and on the list went. It seemed like every time we talked about insurance or a bill came I cried and worried over how we would ever be able to pay for it all. I knew that God would provide for us, but that didn't mean that we wouldn't have a huge bill that we would be paying back for the next 10 years. God did intervene in a million different ways - from family members offering to help, money coming in from strange places (Patrick got 2 bonuses from his old job while waiting to start his new one), the option of Cobra opening up for me, and Patrick supernaturally being able to join the healthcare option at his new job despite their refusal, just to name a few. God has been revealing to us everyday how He takes care of His own. Things were looking up. Granted, my care is still a significant cost and we are struggling to do it all right now, but God has been coming through and we haven't been late on a single payment. Then I got a bill today. It was a bill for the sonogram I got last month that apparently the insurance would not pay for. My heart sank when I opened the envelope. How could they not cover that? We paid our monthly payment and went through so much to get the coverage. How can we pay for this on top of everything else? I tried not to let it upset me or stress me out, and decided that it was probably a glitch that I could fix over the phone tomorrow. But thinking of that phone call made me angry and stressed and sad. Why does this happen every time? Why can't it just work out the way it's supposed to? Why do I have to lose sleep over something that should already have been taken care of, and fight to get the things I've already paid for? I was dreading the morning, when I turned on the TV. There was an old episode of Extreme Makeover Home Edition on, and it had a family whose son had been born severely handicapped. Their needs were immense (including outrageous medical bills), and these strangers came and built them a house and paid off their mortgage. I cried through the entire episode as I realized the great provision of our God, His incredible love for His children and the amazing purpose that He has for each individual little miracle life that He brings into this world. God didn't leave this family adrift, and He wouldn't leave Patrick and me in all of this. He has and He will provide for ALL of our needs. I suddenly felt so stupid. My God made this baby, and He would provide for him, and He has a purpose and plan for this little baby boy. In fact, God loves Elijah more than Patrick and I ever could. These struggles and stresses are so small in comparison to the blessing of this baby boy. It humbled me to realize how spoiled I had been. I expected things to go smoothly with no bumps in the road, yet I accepted the sacrifice that Jesus made for me and all of the blessings I had received. We are called to sacrifice - this life is not about me. I am here to glorify my Savior and to serve my wonderful husband and my beautiful children. The key to real joy in this life is to put myself, my needs and my desires last. God will work this out for my good and His glory, and when I look back at all these little nuisances, I will realize how insignificant they were. These circumstances are small and for a time, but how I respond to them will determine a lot about my future and the future of our family. I can choose to trust the Lord and give it all to Him, knowing that He loves me and knows my every need. Or I can whine, complain, focus on my circumstance and try to go it alone. The first road leads to peace, joy and the ability to get out of the way and let God move on my behalf. The second will end in frustration, fatigue and failure. I am going to do my best to open door #1. So tomorrow I will be on that phone, working out this problem and knowing that regardless of their answer God's answer is Elijah, Paige, Patrick and I are His and He will take care of us.

June and July Fun

2009-07-09T17:55:00.000-07:00

Father's Day at Lake Lewisville

Soaking in the sun!

Getting some mommy kisses

4th of July!

Paige seeing her first fireworks. She LOVED them!!

Elijah at almost 6 months along. Starting to get big!

It's a boy!

2009-06-24T11:47:00.000-07:00

Yes, the rumors are true! After much speculation we have now confirmed that baby #2 is definitely a boy. Little Elijah, or Eli, is set to make his entrance in early November. We can't wait! Paige is excited to meet her baby brother, and start to boss him around. Patrick and I can't wait to see him and kiss his little face. He's a strong little guy, kicking like crazy. And he responds to both his daddy and big sister's voice. So excited to meet this little miracle!

As for Paige, she is now 10 months old. She got her third tooth last week, and the fourth is right behind it. She's cruising around all the furniture and becoming so independent. She is definitely starting to show her independent and at times defiant personality. She's testing boundaries and learning something new every day. We're having a lot of fun and learning how to love, discipline and guide this little girl each day. It's a challenge and a joy. And soon there will be two!

But this post would not be complete without a mention of our Lord. God is good y'all! He is such a provider. Patrick recently switched jobs and thus we had insurance issues. Being 5 months pregnant, this was a bit stressful. We had cancelled our sonogram, and I was so sad that we weren't going to find out what we were having for a long time and that I would have to switch doctors and hospitals. But God stepped in as He has every single time. Why do I always doubt? We called to make an appointment for the sonogram and planned to pay out of pocket (which wasn't cheap!). We were blessed to have someone offer to pay for it for us, which blew our socks off. But God stepped in and got our insurance figured out, and they ended up not charging us a dime. On top of that, we get to keep our doctor, hospital and all the same fees we had before. All of this resolved within 24 hours. And, the money given to us for the sonogram was a loving gift that now we were told to keep and use for us. Our God provides for all of our needs, and I feel so silly for ever worrying one little bit. He is the giver of every good and perfect gift, and He never comes a minute late. So blessed!

A New Trick!

2009-06-05T11:47:00.001-07:00

Yesterday, I came in to get Paige up from her nap and this is what I found. A very proud little girl who had pulled herself up for the very first time. We were both very excited, and luckily the camera was sitting on the table next to the bed so that I could capture this sweet moment. Paige has been able to crawl for months, but refused to do so, opting instead to roll everywhere. About a week ago she began to crawl and has taken off. She's everywhere and into everything! And the past few days she began to pull up. She can walk around tables and chairs when I stand her up, but this was her very first time standing up completely on her own. Now it won't be long until she takes off running.

Updates!

2009-05-28T07:48:00.000-07:00

Family picnic! Feeding the ducks and eating dinner by the pond.
I love Cheerios and swimming with my dad!

Baby #2 showing him/herself! 4 1/2 months pregnant!

Paige is now 9 months old and little baby #2 is 18 weeks old in my tummy and starting to show him/herself. Paige is pointing, waving, crawling and starting to stand up. She's still talking all the time and has added the word "what", which is hilarious to hear. She's such a big girl, with so much life and personality. She really is such a joy. Our new little sprout is an active little one, and now I can feel him/her moving around. Soon our little family of 3 will be a family of 4! This little one has fingerprints forming this week and is the size of a peach.

Mother's Day Weekend

2009-05-11T16:55:00.001-07:00

This first Mother's Day weekend together was wonderful. We got to have Uncle Nash come and stay with us and meet Paige for the very first time. They had so much fun playing together and Nash even got to read her his favorite story.

We were also able to have my whole family over for a Mother's Day brunch at my house on Sunday morning. It was so nice to be together and eat lots of yummy food. Once again Patrick spoiled me with a very thoughtful gift. And, we were blessed the night before to have our very own Uncle Nash, a chef, prepare a great dinner for us.

He made yummy Philly cheese steaks, pasta salad and his specialty, Nash potatoes. So good! A great weekend of food, family and fun!

8 Months Old!

2009-04-21T08:17:00.000-07:00

Our 1st Easter Together!

Good Morning! I'm 8 months old today!

Hey Everyone! Our little Sweet Pea is now 8 months old and such a big girl. She has 2 teeth on the bottom and is getting one on top. She still refuses to crawl, although she is able to, but rolls everywhere. She's a chatterbox, talking all the time and brightening every single day. She's such a joy and we can't wait for baby #2 to arrive. Speaking of our little bun in the oven, our due date has been moved back 2 weeks. Baby #2 is now set to make an entrance on or around November 2nd. We can't wait to meet this little one, and to see Paige as big sister.

Cousins!

2009-04-07T20:32:00.000-07:00

Welcome to the world Evelyn Renee!

Paige and Mama got to meet Paige's first younger cousin a few days after she was born. Paige is 7 1/2 months old in this picture and Evelyn is 7 days old.

Big Sister!

2009-03-31T18:55:00.000-07:00

Yay!!! We found out that Paige is going to be a big sister! We're so excited! Baby #2 is due to arrive in October. Stay tuned!

Updates!

2009-03-24T17:13:00.000-07:00

First Swim!!
Sitting up like such a big girl!

Hey All! Well, we've been slowly getting back to life in the wake of losing our Papa. It's been a hard road, but God has been so good and provided for our every need. Paige is now 7 months old! Hard to believe, huh? She is rolling all over town and has the appearance of her first tooth as of today (sorry, too small for pictures yet). She can sit up (with a little help :)) and is such a chatterbox. She even went swimming at her Aunt Annette's house for the first time last week. She absolutely loved it and didn't want to get out of the water (she takes after her mom ). Here are some fun pics of our trip to the Dallas Zoo on February 25th - the day before we lost Papa, Paige first swim and some others. Enjoy!

Papa

2009-03-06T20:31:00.000-08:00

On Thursday, February 26th at 3 p.m. we lost one of the greatest men this world has ever known. Our beloved Papa was taken home to be with the Lord and we are heartbroken over this loss. He was the kindest, most loving, wise, godly and wonderful man we've ever known, and we miss him so much. Things will be hard without his love, warmth, kindness, selfless attitude, wise counsel, hugs and kisses. We are praying for strength in the days to come as we learn to live without him, and in the years ahead as we try to teach Paige about the wonderful man her Papa was.

California Trip

2009-02-11T08:57:00.000-08:00

Paige and Mama got to go to mommy's hometown, the OC, for Aunt Alyssa's baby shower.

It was such a blessed trip! Paige did great on the airplane (helped by a complimentary seat upgrade), and got to meet so many people we love. And while we were there Paige grew so much. In that short week she started waving, learned to do raspberries with her mouth and started sucking on her toes. Too cute! Paige got to see some of her mom's favorite places like the beach and finally got to meet her great grandma Arlene.

So cool and ready for the beach.

Mommy and Paigers hangin out on the pier.

So joyful.

Pretty girls.

"I love sand." -Paige

Updates!

2009-01-29T09:23:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year!

Sleepy Girl

Uncle Alex Jamie Daddy's kisses
Hello All! It's been awhile, but we're still alive. Just wanted to give you a few updates on our baby girl. She is now 5 months old - can you believe it? It goes so fast! Everyday she is growing and learning something new. She's a chatterbox - talking all the time. We've been trying to get her to say mama or dada, but she has combined the two and said baba - so sweet, not wanting to hurt either one of our feelings. Although, the past week I'm pretty sure she's said mama (don't tell Patrick ;)). She can turn over all the way now -from back to tummy and back again. But she HATES being on her tummy for more than a minute, so she usually stops rolling halfway to avoid it. She's a smart cookie. We took her to her new doctor (who we love, which is such an answer to prayer) on Tuesday for a check-up. She has had a bad cold for the last week, and we wanted to make sure she was doing better. Paige is such a sweetheart that she hasn't let her runny nose and bad cough affect her cheerful mood. We really are blessed by this joyful baby girl. The doctor said she is perfectly fine, and now weighs 15 1/2 pounds - a normal healthy weight. And she is now 29 inches long - an extraordinary height for a 5 month old. In fact, 29 inches is the normal length for a 12 month old. Maybe she'll be a model. She is such a sweet little blessing, and teaching us something new all the time. Oh! And she finally was able to meet her uncle Alex! Grandpa Dex, Lita, Alex as well as cousin Ashley and Ray came into town for the Cotton Bowl on January 2nd, and Paige got to meet them all. We had so much fun with them! Then she was able to meet our dear friend Jamie last Thursday when he came through town, and we're looking forward to her meeting a lot more family next week at Alyssa's baby shower.

Murphy Christmas

2008-12-28T20:13:00.000-08:00

Good morning and welcome to Christmas.

DROOL IS COOL.

Paige's First Christmas.

Pretty Girl in her Christmas dress.

Santa's Coming!!!

Getting ready for Christmas...Murphy Style.

2008-12-16T19:55:00.000-08:00

Getting our Christmas Tree.

Paige likes Christmas Cookies.

Cozy Fire.
Stockings and all.

Updates!

2008-12-01T19:47:00.000-08:00

Hey Everyone! We thought we'd update you on the past few weeks, but be warned - it's a lot!

All snuggled up to go out in the 40 degree weather today.

Thanks Nana for the snuggly overcoat, it kept her perfectly warm (and it looked pretty darn cute!)

Saying goodbye to Aunt Alyssa, Uncle Brian and Evelyn Renee.

Decorating for Christmas with mom and dad.

Thanksgiving night we decorated our house for Christmas - we just couldn't wait another minute.

Paige was a big help, as you can see.

Paige's very first Thanksgiving.

All dressed up and ready to go eat some turkey!

Gimme some TURKEY LEG!!!!!!

3 Months Old!

On November 20th, Paige turned 3 months old. Man how time flies!

Playing is hard work!

Our brown-eyed girl!The best picture we had of her eye color - a perfect mix of her daddy's brown eyes and her mommy's green eyes. They are light brown with a hint of green mixed in.

Brown Eyed Girl!

2008-11-18T08:58:00.001-08:00

Hey all! After much guessing and variation, it looks like Paige's eyes have finally settled on a color. They are a beautiful light brown, just like her daddy. We'll try to post a good picture of her beautiful brown eyes.

New PJ's

2008-11-12T07:21:00.001-08:00

New pink pajamas with the bunny slippers built in.

Give Me a Hand

2008-11-11T10:05:00.000-08:00

Paige is growing up so fast that it's hard to keep up sometimes. She's 2 1/2 months old and growing like a weed - over 25 inches long and around 12 pounds now (praise God for normal weight gain!). And now - she's discovered her hand. For those of you not used to the stages of new babies, you may not realize that newborns don't know that their hands are attached to them and therefore have little control over what they do. It's actually quite hilarious to watch as Paige pulls her pacifier out of her own mouth and then looks around for who stole it. We always say that the elusive Binky Bandit has struck again when that happens. But, I fear we may not be able to say that anymore. This past week Paige has been mesmerized by her little hands. She can stare at them all day. And now that she has found them, she is bound and determined to use them. Today, when I went to get her out of her car seat, she had pulled her little hat right off of her head. She was quite proud of herself, laughing at me as I put it back on. She has been very aware of the people and things around her for some time now, but now she is able to react more to them. And she is so close to holding her head up all by herself. She can hold it for a few seconds and then it teeters and totters. Her independence grows with each new day, as does her appetite. It's amazing to watch this little miracle discover something new every day and become more and more of who God made her to be. We love being her parents and are so excited for all that's to come.

Miracles Abound

2008-11-04T12:56:00.000-08:00

So we had to share yet another miracle that we have witnessed. We mentioned in an earlier post that Paige's Aunt Alyssa and Uncle Brian are expecting a baby girl named Evelyn Renee. What we didn't tell you is that in the same sonogram that confirmed she's a girl the doctor's found a cyst in the baby's brain, a choroid plexus cyst to be exact. This condition is not uncommon and usually resolves in the 3rd trimester. However, there are times when it doesn't resolve and it results in a condition called trisomy 18 - a horribly scary scenario. We prayed and fasted and had wonderful friends join in with prayer and fasting. And today they went back to the doctor. They found that the cyst has shrunk down, and only a remnant remains. They fully expect it to completely disappear and have no affect on the baby. Isn't God amazing? He never ceases to amaze us in all He does. Perhaps the greatest miracle in all of this is that Alyssa and Brian experienced complete peace throughout this whole ordeal, proving yet again that God doesn't only take us out of the circumstance, but He also takes us through it. Thanks for the prayers, and never underestimate God.

Halloween 2008!

2008-11-01T09:23:00.000-07:00

Pretty Kitty!

We just finished celebrating Paige's first Halloween. Truth be told, we are not big fans of Halloween. We prefer to celebrate the fall harvest and the beautiful change of the season that God orchestrates. But, we decided to enjoy the fun festivities of dressing up and being with family and friends this Halloween. Paige Anna dressed up like a kitty cat and was way too cute for words. It was so hard to get a good picture that really captured her adorable outfit. We went trick-or-treating with Gina's family, and enjoyed some delicious homemade apple cider as we watched Charlie Brown (always a favorite!) . Check out her cute paws and tail!

Anticipating Baby Evelyn

2008-10-29T20:42:00.000-07:00

Hey all! We just had to share our joy with all of you. Paige's aunt Alyssa and uncle Brian are expecting their first baby in March, and this week we learned it's a girl! Yay!! Little baby Evelyn Renee is due to arrive on March 25th, 2009. Paige cannot wait to meet her little cousin, and who we think will be her very best friend. God has not only blessed us but our extended family as well. He is such a good God! We cannot wait to meet this dear little one and introduce her and Paige. Keep them in your prayers.

Two Months Old!

2008-10-21T20:31:00.000-07:00

Not a happy camper.

The Gramps

2008-10-15T20:22:00.000-07:00

We love our family! Paige has now met all of her grandparents. We are fortunate enough to have Gina's parents close by,

but Patrick's family does not live close. We are so sad that we don't get to see them as often as we like, but we are thrilled that we got introduce them to Paige. Labor Day weekend we hosted Paige's Nana (Patrick's mom) and Aunt Natalie (Patrick's sister). We had so much fun sharing Paige with them. She was spoiled with presents, kisses and lots of cuddles. She sure does love them already.

Then, this last weekend we were able to introduce Paige to her grandpa Dexter (Patrick's dad), Lita (Patrick's step-mom), Aunt Eliana (Patrick's sister) and Rocio. Paige had a blast cheering on Texas against Oklahoma, playing with all of them, and posing for lots of fun pictures. She can't wait to see them again.

Another Miracle!

2008-10-01T16:08:00.000-07:00

Hey guys! Just wanted to share another miracle that God has done on behalf of Paige. Paige went to the doctor last Tuesday, and she weighed only 8 pounds - 5 ounces less than she weighed when she was born. We were worried and mommy cried all day. But, we prayed, and our family prayed, and many of our friends prayed, and the most amazing thing happened. We took her in for a weight check on Monday to see of she had gained any weight and if we should be worried. They laid her on the scale and it read 9lb. 2oz. Paige had gained 18 ounces in 6 days! That weight gain caught her up to the exact weight she should be at for her age. It was such an amazing gain, especially when you consider that a healthy baby should gain 1 ounce a day. God totally intervened and showed us yet again that He has His hands on our baby girl. We are so blessed, and just had to share how great our God is with all of you! Thanks for keeping her in your prayers! They are definitely heard and answered by our Lord.

HAPPY PAIGERS

2008-09-19T19:47:00.000-07:00

New Pictures are under Happy Paigers and Lookin Good in Photobucket. The link is right <<-------- here to the left. Just click on it.

The Day Paige was born

2008-09-10T13:27:00.000-07:00

We just wanted to share the story of Paige with y'all. Paige was 9 days overdue when we went into the hospital to be induced. We spent a long night at the hospital hooked up to a lot of machines. Gina was in labor for around 25 hours and started pushing around 5:30 p.m. on Wednesday. There were quite a few weird complications that arose during this time. Paige's heart rate dropped very low around 4 in the afternoon. The nurses rushed in and Gina had to be given oxygen. Once that cleared up, she continued pushing and some problems from the epidural started. Gina lost all feeling and control of her left leg and started to have deferred pain, where her contractions went into her right leg. The doctors had never seen anything like this before, and it was pretty scary. Gina ended up pushing for over 4 hours. All the while, family and friends all over the country were praying for us. Gina's grandma had a dream the night before that Paige had serious problems during delivery and was praying and fasting for her the entire day. While praying, Gina's grandma started to have sharp pains in her right leg - the same pains that Gina was having. All this prayer made all the difference and Paige finally came into the world. When she first came out the doctors quickly took her away like they didn't want us to see her because they thought that she had a severe respiratory problem. They called the neo-natal unit to come and get her, but Patrick said they couldn't take her anywhere until he prayed for her. He laid his hands on her and prayed out loud (everyone in the room shut their eyes and prayed with him...pretty cool), and when the neo-natal team came they said whatever problems she had before had stopped and that she was perfectly healthy. It was so cool that Paige's first experience in life was her daddy laying hands on her and praying for healing. The experience was scary and wonderful, and Paige was born perfectly healthy despite the weird circumstances and scares. We know that it was all of the prayers that changed everything. So thank you to everyone who prayed. It's because of Him that our baby girl is here and completely healthy....and with a sweet mohawk. We know God has big plans for her life already. : )

So Blessed!

2008-09-10T13:18:00.000-07:00

Hey All! Just wanted to say hi and thank everyone who has been blessing us with their prayers, gifts and love. We have been overwhelmed by the amount of love and encouragement we've received from everyone. Paige is doing fabulous! She is the cutest little thing, being the perfect mix of both Patrick and I. She makes some of the same faces as her dad, and sleeps on her side just like her mom. She is the easiest baby - she doesn't fuss, and she sleeps around 6 hours every night since she was only a few days old. She is such a joy. Paige loves kisses, getting cuddled and when her mom and dad sing to her. We feel so blessed to have this perfect little person entrusted to us by the Lord. We love her more than we could possibly express and we are so excited to share her with all of you, the people we love.

all of paige's pictures

2008-08-22T12:16:00.000-07:00

If you've looked over the last few days I added new pictures Sunday night. I'm working on more pictures and I have some videos we'll add soon....as well as the story of Paige. She really is a little miracle. We've never been so happy to be so tired. : ) I will keep updating but for now....

CLICK FOR PAIGE'S PICTURES...

http://s383.photobucket.com/albums/oo271/patrickmurphy24/

CLICK FOR PAIGE'S PICTURES...

08/20/08

2008-08-21T05:20:00.000-07:00

NICE MOHAWK

HOW DID SHE FIT IN THERE?

VERY READY TO GO!

GETTING READY

So she's here. 8 lbs 5 ounces. 21 3/4". Just wanted to put up some pictures. Will share more later.

The Final Countdown!!!

2008-07-29T20:06:00.000-07:00

12 Days to go til our due date!!

Gina is doing so well. Another perfect doctors visit. Dr. Harper told Gina, "See you next week.....if not sooner!" It's all sinking in that she is really coming. We're so excited to see her little face and find out what features she got from me (hopefully 0) and what features she gets from gina (100% is what I'm hoping for.) How cute will my LBG (Little Baby Girl) be!! She already has her Daddy wrapped around her lil finger.

Her little room is basically all ready to go. She's got more clothes than I do...and way cooler shoes. We've been very blessed with the gifts everyone has given us to help us prepare for her arrival.

Now we're just in that waiting game where no matter what if my wife calls I better answer my phone. It could be a simple question or it could be GO TIME!!!

We're very excited for everyone to meet our newest edition to the Murphy family. We'll keep you posted. Please remember my wife and baby girl in your prayers the next couple weeks....remember we're rookies at this thing. : )

-Patrick

2008-07-03T10:12:00.000-07:00

June 28th - We continue to be spoiled! Alyssa, Mom and Annette threw me a shower here in Texas at the Lavender Tea House. I got to celebrate with all of the people I love out here in the Lonestar state. It was so lovely! And it was wonderful to have Alyssa, Debi and Eliana fly in for the event. Wow! We are beyond blessed! Only 5 weeks now until little Paige is due to make her arrival. We can't wait to share her with all of you.

2008-06-11T13:15:00.000-07:00

Three (actually 4) generations! My mom, grandma and me (with Paige)

2008-06-11T13:14:00.000-07:00

Georgina and I at the shower. She was a huge help.

2008-06-11T13:12:00.000-07:00

At my shower with my lovely family who put it all together.

2008-06-11T13:00:00.000-07:00

Hey all! Patrick and I just returned from a wonderful week in California. It was so great to see all the people we love so much. Alyssa and Brian hosted us at their house and could not have been more generous. Also, we were showered with love at my baby shower on Sunday, which was amazing. Having so many of our friends and family there to bless us and celebrate was truly wonderful. Thanks to Burdetta, my mom and sisters, we had a beautiful venue and a perfect day. Thanks so much to everyone who helped celebrate with us. We have been so blessed throughout this entire pregnancy. We are truly undeserving of how much God has given us. We're less than 2 months away from this little girl's arrival and we cannot wait to meet her. We also can't wait for her to meet all of you. Please continue to pray for her, because it has definitely made a difference.

2008-06-07T22:33:00.000-07:00

Baby Paige's first trip to Disneyland.... Thanks to our good friends Scott and Diane Lester.

We had so much fun with Brian, Alyssa, Scott and Diane. Paige was not especially fond of the drops and bumps on Pirates of the Caribbean. Despite that, we rode Indiana Jones, Pirates, and the new Finding Nemo ride. Patrick decided that since Paige will be our little squirt that she needed a little Squirt.

Today we had to get some new gear for the Murphy Crew. New VAN's. Daddy, Mommy, and check out Paige's new kicks.

Patrick is such a good dad already. He's always spoiling both me and Paige with little presents and sweet things. We are very blessed to have such a thoughtful man to take care of us.

29 weeks...11 to go!!!

2008-05-23T20:11:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone-

Quick update. So Gina had her Doctor's appointment this week and everything is going splendid. Dr. Harper says that little Paige is doing perfect. So that's great news.

I'm very proud of my wife. She's been a real trooper. I've been told for the last 6 months to be prepared to go pick up happy meals, sherbert, and a can of cheese wiz at 2 am. I haven't had to go once. Although now we've graduated to the, "You better get as much sleep as you can now" stage. I'm not buying it. Regardless, my wife is awesome and she takes such good care of little Paige.

My LBG (little baby girl...stole the acronym idea from Joey) is bouncing and moving all the time. She's already got a little personality. She'll play fight with me and push back if I gently push on Gina's belly (ok I egg her on a little but that's my job as a daddy). With anyone else though she's very shy. I picture her in there acting all shy and batting her little eyelashes...which she has now. She loves music. Especially Switchfoot.

That's it for now. We're doing well here in the land of TEXAS. God continues to bless us with everything and then some. We'll be in CA soon and we're very excited to visit. Catch ya on the flip side yo!

Sonogram

2008-05-11T11:00:00.001-07:00

Mother's Day

2008-05-11T08:34:00.000-07:00

Happy first Mother's Day to Gina!

I thought this could be a cool idea with all our friends and family all over the country. So we're just getting it started. We will keep you up to date with us and what's going on with baby Paige. She'll be here August 10th (if not sooner!) and we can't wait to meet her. Right now we're getting her room all set up. Every doctor's visit has been great so far. Gina is doing awesome. I on the other hand have cravings all the time for pickles and ice cream....not sure what's up with that :) Anyways, this will be the first of many. Hope you'll check in on us and start praying for baby Paige.