Giveaway! Hooray!

I don't know about you, but I LOVE free stuff. Even better, I love when a great company hosts a free giveaway of a fantastic product. Last Wednesday I had the great honor of winning some green coffee beans with instructions for fresh roasting them over at my friend Katie Riddle's blog. So excited to try them! The difference in flavor and nutrition is supposed to be phenomenal. Now another giveaway is going on. As most of you know, Patrick and I have chosen to cloth diaper our little ones for a variety of reasons - it saves money, it keeps them from harmful chemicals found in disposables, it produces less waste, etc. Well... the company Envibum is hosting a giveaway over at www.passionatehomemaking.com . She is picking 3 winners, each of which will get their favorite diaper from Envibum. I like Envired - so cute! So go check it out, and hopefully we can both win :)

40 Days and 40 Nights

Today is Ash Wednesday, the very first day of the Lenten Season. I don't know about you, but I'm excited. 2009 was the most challenging year I have ever had to face. The enemy attacked us on all sides - physical, emotional, spiritual, financial - you name it, we struggled with it. But much like Joseph's brothers in Genesis, what the enemy meant for evil, God meant for good. The hard things that could and should have ripped my marriage, family, sanity and relationship with the Lord apart did not have the affect that the devil intended. No, he meant to use them to destroy me. He wanted me to fight with my husband over money (or the lack thereof); to isolate from my family when we lost my dad; to become easily offended with people who were insensitive or far away; to not trust God with anything because of all the pain and the piles of problems that loomed before; to get lost in sadness, anger, grief and loneliness; and to allow physical problems to sideline me from life with the ones I loved. And while there were days when I succumbed to the pity party the devil was throwing in my honor and all of the tricks he was using to pull me out of the race, God used all of these things to make me stronger. How does He do it? How does He always take my weak, pathetic excuse for faith and build it into an amazing testimony of who He is? I really don't know how, but as I look back on this excruciating year I am humbled by the outpouring of love and grace that I see from Him. My marriage is stronger than it ever has been, and I enjoy my husband more every day. I see more and more what a strong, capable, considerate, loving, honest and godly man I married. He embodies the word integrity, and I am so proud of the man that he is. My children are truly a blessing from the Lord. Every time I look into Elijah's eyes, I see my dad and I am overwhelmed with gratitude because I know that although he is not here with me, he will never be gone. I and my children are still reaping the blessings of his faithful service to the Lord, and we will continue to do so. And I know that he is heaven with the Lord, and we will get to join him one day. Paige's smile has been a great comfort to me, Patrick and my mom. On the days it seemed our grief was at its worst, God used Paige's innocent and sweet smile to bring about so much comfort and peace. Even today, nearly a year later, her smile and gentle love reminds me of how God gently loved us during that difficult time. Our finances were a roller-coaster ride this year, and continue to be. Patrick went from bad job to bad job to finally finding a wonderful job that he loves. But despite the financial shortfall we encountered every single month, God has provided for our every need. We are current on every bill, and have never had to go without. God miraculously provided us with not only what we needed, but also what we wanted throughout the entire year. He showed Himself in a big way to us, using little miracles (is there such a thing?) here and there to provide for us. From $350 worth of diapers on our doorstep, to unexpected bonuses from jobs Patrick no longer held, to people buying my jam, gift certificates coming in the mail, boxes of clothes being sent at the perfect time (check out a few previous posts to know more) - God astounds me with His creativity in blessing us. I am humbled as I look back on 2009. And honestly, I think I am grateful for that awful year. Does that mean I'm happy my dad died, or that we struggled? - No, but I now see that I didn't go through those things alone. God gently lead me through them, and shielded me from so many things in the midst of it all. If I did not have Him, I would have had to go it alone, and I would be fighting against the devil by myself. I would have given up long ago, and not only would I not be receiving the peace and blessing I do now, I would be defeated, depressed and struggling all the more. As I look at the Lenten season and begin to fast from the things the Lord has called me away from, I am filled with anticipation. What now Lord? What things are You going to reveal to me now? How will show Yourself in these 40 days? How much better will everything be the closer I draw to You? I realize that so much was stripped away last year, but in a lot of ways that was a good thing. My false sense of security in this life or in people or in a job or in money or in my health were all ripped from my grasp and I was left with the truth - that God is my rock. He is the only thing that never changes. And with this truth came so much freedom. The stripping away was painful, but it left my heart and hands open to receive all that the Lord wants to give me. And He is the giver of every good and perfect gift, so I want whatever He has to give me. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 has always been my life verse, and now I see even more His power being perfected in my weakness. I pray that this season of self-denial that will, I'm sure, be wrought with even more attacks from the enemy and leave me feeling weak, will be another opportunity for God to demonstrate His infinite power. I invite you to be weak with me, and watch God move, because I think last year - the ups and downs - are only a preview of what's to come.

Sickness :(

Well... it's happened. For the first time ever our ENTIRE family is sick. Boo! It's one of those devil viruses that no medicine will help. You just have to wait it out and do the homeopathic route (which I prefer over medicine anyway). Last Friday, Paige got a really runny nose and a little fever. Later that night Patrick came down with it too. Paige got progressively worse with this awful cold that made her so miserable. It was so sad, but it's been on the decline and only a nasty cough still persists. Patrick is also on the mend, thank you Lord. I worked so hard to keep Elijah and I from getting it, with my biggest fear being that we would continue to pass it back and forth to one another. Well, Elijah got a cold in his eye which is so sad to watch. Now it has moved into his nose and chest. And now, finally I have succumb to the evil virus. I have the worst sore throat I can remember ever having. So right now we are all in various stages of being sick. It's been 10 days, and I have had enough. But, I do see the healing on the horizon, and I'm holding fast to that. :) By the way, my babies are now 17 months and 3 months respectively. Can you believe that? I can't! Elijah is so big - over 15 pounds and 27 inches long. That's right, I said 15 pounds. Paige was 19 pounds at a year people. This boy is big, and beautiful. He has the most piercingly beautiful blue eyes, that look a lot like his late Papa's, and the sweetest smile. He is the happiest baby and is always flirting with the girls. Paige on the other hand is such a little grown up. She is saying so many words now, and doing so many things. We have even started a little bit of preschool with her, and she is picks up things so fast. When I say preschool I mean mommy and Paige at the kitchen table learning, not some institution. Patrick is doing amazing at his new job. He acquired more clients than anyone in his office for the month of January. He is so talented. And if you ever need insight on insurance, or financial matters he's a wealth of knowledge. So proud of my man. I am doing well. I love being with my babies, and finally feel like I have a schedule that works. Also, I have begun making all natural jellies and jams. If you ever want some of any kind (organic, sugar-free, etc.) let me know and I will be happy to oblige. :) I also have a few other little things I've been working on to see if I can make a little extra money from home - things like baking, baby blankets and tile covered trays. Anyway, just thought I'd update you on us a little instead of simply focusing on this dumb sickness. We remain abundantly blessed even in the midst of this sickness. So if you think of us, please pray it passes quickly. There is nothing sadder than sick babies who feel miserable, and I have 2 right now. But I will leave you on a high note - pictures of the two cutest kids ever. Enjoy!