Thursday, August 27, 2009
Tonight Paige took her first real steps. Granted she has been standing alone for weeks, but always sat down to start crawling. Tonight she let go of the coffee table and took 3 big steps right to her mama on the couch. It was so awesome! So look out world! Our baby girl is on the move!
at 6:22 PM
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Is anyone else in need of some good news? I swear, I'm afraid to answer my phone anymore with all the bad news I get almost daily. Patrick HATES his job and is constant fear of losing it, money is tight, our health insurance is almost a weekly annoyance, Paige keeps having little stomach problems that we can't figure out the cause of, my cousin Tim was just diagnosed with cancer, my mom is working 2 jobs and she hasn't slept a full night since we lost my dad, we have no real friends here in Texas except my family, I'm scared of the direction our country is going, today is the 6 month anniversary of my dad's death, and on and on it goes. I feel like I'm sitting on the sidelines watching all of this go on with no power to do ANYTHING. It's such torture to watch people I love hurt and mourn and feel dejected and be powerless to help them. I'm so tired! I'm ready for some good news already. But then I'm reminded that I've already received the greatest news of all. God sent His Son into the world and He took ALL of my sin and shame and nailed it to the cross. I should be rejoicing in that news alone because it is more than I could ever deserve. He daily carries my burdens. He knows my every need, and He supplies it. I want to live in that truth all day everyday, but these stupid distractions keep popping up. My focus has become so blurred that I'm having a hard time seeing God in all of this - but He's there. In fact, He's right in the middle of it all. He holding us up and protecting us and providing for us and loving us through all of this junk. I keep hearing the verse where Jesus says that in this world we will have troubles, but take heart for I have overcome the world. He is in control. Nothing is a surprise to Him. Nothing is hard for Him. And He promises that He will not withhold any good thing from me if I follow Him. So, I am going to refocus and follow Him and trust that He sees what I don't. I'm going to allow Him to open my eyes to see the things that He is doing on my and my family's behalf. I'm going to lay aside my anger, hurt, frustration and fear, and let Him have complete control. Peace only comes from trusting Him, and that's what I'm going to do. This is no easy task. It's not like I just decide to do this and all of this stuff goes away. Oh no! In fact I fully expect the devil to hit us even harder as we trust in Him all the more. But all of these trials and struggles are a means to either pull us further from our Lord or closer to Him. I need to press in. I need to give Him my fears, failures and struggles daily, if not minute to minute. I need to arm myself with His Word, and speak truth into the lies that the enemy keeps hurling at me. I can't give up. I won't! I am more than a conqueror in Christ, and it's time I live like it. I'm done being depressed and defeated and ready to step into joy regardless of my circumstance. So, although there are a lot of reasons to complain and be sad I am going to live on the Lord's strength and not my own.
at 6:11 PM
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Our baby girl is not a baby anymore, she's a little girl now. Yesterday we celebrated her first birthday with a very small family party. Mommy made LOTS of cupcakes, daddy worked hard at the grill and Paige had the very best day ever. It seems like a lot of toddlers hate their birthday party, but Paige loved it. She had so much fun playing with everyone, opening her presents and eating cupcakes. She was all smiles all evening, and such a little hostess. We decided to try to make her day the most fun possible by keeping it small and simple, and having the party start after her afternoon nap. So around 4 p.m. our home was filled with grandparents and uncles and aunts and cousins, lots of good food, and a lot of love. She loved every single present (and so did we - they were perfect for her needs and her little personality). She got winter clothes, books, baby dolls and some toys that make fun noises. The day just could not have gone better for her, and we are so thankful that our little girl had such a great day. Paige definitely deserved it.
at 11:04 AM
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Today our beautiful baby girl is 1. Can you believe it? The year has flown by, and yet we cannot imagine a life without this perfect little blessing. Paige is a so amazing! We wish everyone could see her smile with her little spaced teeth, or hear her laugh with her hearty giggle, or watch her run away when she thinks she's in trouble, or hear her squeal with delight when she plays, or see her play so sweetly and gently with her baby cousin Evelyn, or watch her get so excited when she sees Drew and Jake have come to play, or see her wrinkle her little nose as she makes a hilarious grunting noise, or see her wonderful dance moves, and hear her sing in the backseat of the car. She is so full of joy that she lights up every room. We cannot walk into a store without someone commenting how beautiful she is. Paige is so smart - she responds to everything you say. She loves to be part of the action, but gets uncomfortable if all the attention is on her. She loves to look through books and point at all the pictures. She chases our dog Lola throughout the house and tries to pet her tail. She refuses to walk, although she is more than capable. She loves to get and give kisses and hugs, and wakes up with a big smile on her face. She will be a sweet and gentle big sister to Elijah in a few short weeks. Being the parents of this little blessing is a privilege, and we love our job! We are loving this stage in her life, and are excited for all the ones to come. God has big plans for this little girl.
at 9:50 AM
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
So a few weeks ago I shared some of the struggles we have faced with insurance, faith and God's provision during this pregnancy. Since then we hit yet another interesting snag, and witnessed Our Lord show us once again that we are His and He takes care of His own. Last week I went to pick up a prescription for my thyroid (I discovered I had hypothyroidism when I was pregnant with Paige and have been taking this medication since). When I went to pay I gave them my new insurance card. The pharmacist said that there seemed to be a problem, so he called the insurance to work it out. I could not believe what happened next. The pharmacist told me that the insurance company had told him that I was not insured and hadn't been since May 31st. He said that Patrick was the one that we extended the insurance for, and not me. What? So, I told him to hold the prescription (which quadrupled in price without the coverage) and called Patrick to find out if he knew anything about this. He said that he would call our provider and find out. I figured it must be some little mistake that would easily be fixed because I filled out all the paperwork and double checked it all. Boy was I wrong. The insurance I had signed up for was COBRA, which we received through his former employer. Our provider informed Patrick that any errors in our paperwork would result in me not being covered at all. In other words, the money we have paid up until now was for nothing and we would be responsible for every doctor bill, test, sonogram and the entire hospital stay. If, however, the fault was theirs, it would all be made right. I could not believe this. I knew that I had filled the paperwork out correctly. I was so frustrated. Another problem for no apparent reason when I had done everything I was supposed to do. I had filled out the paperwork and paid everything on time, yet we were facing huge bills. It seems like lately we have to fight for every inch. Why couldn't things just work out the way they were supposed to? Well, it turns out they did. After 3 days of phone calls and scare, Patrick got a hold of our provider and they told us that I had checked a box on the form that I shouldn't have. This should be reason enough for me not to be covered and for them to save all their money. Yet they decided to fix the problem for us, just because. They told Patrick that I would be covered from now on, and the past 2 months retroactively. It was fixed just like that. But why? The company was looking for any reason not to cover us and this was a perfect out for them. It is something that on the surface made no sense, or simply looked like some "good luck." But I don't believe in luck, I believe in Jesus. He knows my every need and even my every want. If they had decided not to cover us it would have been hard, but we would have survived. I had no doubt that God would provide either way. But this meant less stress, less money and less headaches for us. God allowed all of this to show us yet again that He is in control of every aspect of our lives - our health, our finances, our family, all of it. He showed us that He cares about all of it, and that He provides for us. These headaches bring to our attention just how much He cares and all that He does on our behalf. If we had never had a glitch at all we would not have been aware of God in the midst of us. We would have overlooked His place in all of this, and attributed it all to our hard work, the money we paid, and our fortunate insurance. So thank you Jesus! Thank you for being the giver of every good and perfect gift. Thank you for being more than enough. Thank you for never leaving or forsaking us. Thank you for caring about every detail, and showing us how infinite and boundless your love is. You are truly good.
at 3:01 PM